'Brokeback Mountain' changed my life.

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:30pm

First of all, I'm sorry to anyone who gets pissed about another Brokeback Mountain thread. Deal with it.

I haven't read many of the threads on the movie before today because I didn't want anything to ruin it for me.

Last night, while watching the movie with 5 of my closet friends in the world, and some of the first people who I ever came out to who I truly and deeply care about, I felt the most peculiar range of emotions.

I still don't know what all I was feeling and was thinking, but I do know that this movie affected me more than any other movie, book or play I have ever seen or read. I could not stop crying for pretty much the entire last half-hour of the movie. And it wasn't just sniffling, but I was heaving. One of my friends who sat next to me said she was worried about me and just sat there comforting me by rubbing my arm for the whole movie.

I do not know why it affected me so much. Well, I sorta do, but sorta don't. I'm gay obviously, but I didn't fully connect with either Ennis or Jack. I didn't see myself in either one of them really until the last act of the movie began to unfold.

As I watched, I kept thinking to myself that this is horrible. Being gay ulitmately ruined Jack and Ennis' chance for happiness. (SPOILER) After Jack dies, I just kept crying and crying and crying thinking to myself of Ennis 'He's all alone, he's all alone, he's all alone.' I was afraid that perhaps I would end up like Ennis. And I was just afraid of life.

But in the end, the movie inspired me. I wondered and wondered whether or not Jack and Ennis could have lived their life together. But I came to think to myself that really, that's not too essential of a point. I don't know quite what it all means, to me anyway. But their love was so pure and so breathtaking. And it was so simple. Sure, their lives both apart and together were twisted and confusing. But their love was so simple.

I don't know if most people will come away from the movie with the intense love and thanks I have for it. Obviously as a boy still closeted at school and to most of my family, I may connect a little more to the movie. But I don't think very much. The movie is, cheesy as it sounds, also about being true to yourself. Don't lie to yourself. Live. But the heartbreaking and gutwrenching question in the movie is, could Jack and Ennis have even attempted to be truly true to themselves in their society?

After watching the movie I am stronger in my conviction than ever to come out to my mom before the school-year ends. I don't want to hide anymore behind it.

The movie itself, in all aspects was a masterpiece. Inpeccable, pristine direction. Magnificent, legendary perofrmances. Breathtaking scenery and cinematography. And, my God, one of the simplest yet most gorgoeus scores I've ever heard.

In some of the threads here, people have diminished the movie, the actors, and other stuff for various reasons. And it really pisses me off that thread bashing Gyenhaal and Ledger for saying they weren't brave for making this movie. Get over yourself. It was a brave, bold move considering the society we live in. Are they braver than real gay men and women who live their lives openly? Of course not, don't be silly. But they should be commended for making this movie, not attacked by us.

And for all the other critiques about the movie, I obviously don't agree and you all have a right to your opinion, but I just don't get it.

The only word I can use to describe it is heartbreaking.
And it changed my life, as melodramatic as that sounds.

And when I see it again today I'll probably cry even harder.Because I realize that not only that I, that we all, connect with Ennis and Jack, but we all run the risk of dooming ourselves to that life.
But, essentially, the choice is ours.

Updated On: 12/17/05 at 12:30 PM

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:36pm

Wow. Im happy you liked it uh...SOOOOOOOO much LOL. It IS a wonderful film.

[EvelynNesbit1906]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:39pm

A very touching and thought-provoking post, StickToPriest. Don't you just love the power of film and television? (Having memories of watching Ellen's Puppy episode back in 1997, which was when I first started coming out.)

****SPOILERS**** You know, someone on Oscarwatch was suggesting that Jack wasn't actually killed in a hate crime. Rather, there was a different connection between his death and the dead man Ennis is forced to see as a child. The latter had been dragged to his death by a tire. Ennis was afraid to commit to Jack because he had spent his life afraid of literally being dragged by a tire. So, how ironic (says someone on Oscarwatch) that Jack should literally be killed by a tire - not human hands - as his wife explained over the phone. Maybe the flashback of Jack being brutally attacked by a group of men was Ennis imagining what had happened to him, rather than what actually happened? That's just one way of looking at it.****END SPOILER****
Updated On: 12/17/05 at 12:39 PM

[DG]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:39pm

Bravo, Priest.

It sounds like you found a film that was like MAKING LOVE was for me 'back in the day'. If so, I can tell you that no one's negativity can diminish the experience for you - it's too much a part of YOU - and it will stay with you forever. Cherish that.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:46pm

*hugs Priest*

That's all.

[hypertruffle]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:51pm

Awwwwww =3

I'm hearing praises for this movie. Now I wanna see it. *Damns her lack of free time*

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 12:56pm

Does anyone know if the release is planning on going wider?

Right now in my area it's only playing in two downtown theaters in slightly sketchy neighborhoods. And, since I likely will be going by myself (most of my close friends right now are straight, and fairly conservative, men who would probably not be caught dead in this film), I don't want to be venturing into these neighborhoods alone after dark.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 1:27pm

yay for you, Priest. I saw it for the 2nd time last night. What can I say? I had the exact same response as last time. That last line grips me like iron and when the screen fades to black and Ang Lee's name comes up, there go the waterworks. It was even harder this time.
This is a gorgeous film. Some people don't think so. Their prerogative. Nothing works for everyone.
This one worked for me on all levels.

[vbplayer]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 9:32pm

Priest, I couldn't agree more. I thought it was a brilliant film.

[Taryn2]

Posted: 12/17/05 at 10:47pm

I love this story and i can't wait to see the movie. I cried when i read the book. I cried when i saw the trailer, and i know I'll cry when i see the movie because it has such a deep, personal root. I'm seeing it with several of my gay male friends, and two straight female friends. I already know that my male friends and are are going to get very emotional, because all of us have read the book and can connect to it.


In response to what EvelynNesbit1906 said,(!SPOILER!) I thought it was made obvious in the book at least that jack wasn't actually killed with a tire iron. Ennis was just making the connection to the man he saw as a child.

[harris007]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 12:36am

this is why i'm not seeing it

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:10am

Why, because you'd stand a chance of being moved?

[harris007]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:13am

no, cus i know i wont be

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:19am

What a great, closed minded, ignorant attitude you have going there! You must be a PEACH!

[harris007]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:21am

thats a little harsh

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:22am

Well it's true. How do you know if you don't even try?

I'm not even talking about movies - but if you exhibit such an attitude for a movie that has acheived across the board rave reviews (which means you'd have NOTHING to loose by seeing it) - I can only imagine what else you REFUSE to allow yourself to experience.

[DG]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 1:23am

Having read other things Mr. Harris has posted about this film, I think the fear is that he might feel a little too much.

[EvelynNesbit1906]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 2:39am

*******************SPOILER************************

In response to Taryn2: My opinion is that the murder Ennis imagined was, in fact, what happened. There are cues in the conversations he has about Jack's death for this - namely that Jack's wife seems nervous on the telephone and hurriedly hangs up after she's finished explaining what happened, and that Jack's dad has this cold but knowing look in his eyes as he explains that Jack suggested bringing another man (back home?) to open up a ranch. I just thought I'd share a different way of thinking about the ending, since Ang Lee eschews the Boys Don't Cry approach of actually showing the murder in reel time.

*********************END SPOILER************************
Updated On: 12/18/05 at 02:39 AM

[eslgr8]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 4:02am

Priest, your post really touched me. You saw right to the heart of the movie, and no, being gay need prove no obstacle to your happiness. You saw the purity and strength of the love that Ennis and Jack shared, and that is something you too can have as part of your life. How wonderful that you saw this film with loving and supportive friends, and I salute your courageous decision to open up to your mother in the near future.

As the person who first posted the Advocate commentary critical of the media emphasis on the "bravery" shown by the actors making this movie, I want to state clearly that I have nothing but praise for Heath and Jake and Ang Lee making this film. I think it's absolutely wonderful and praiseworthy that they committed so totally to bringing Brokeback Mountain to life. My criticism was with certain comments they made to the press, and more particularly with the way the press played up the "bravery" issue, something which should have been a non-issue, in my opinion.

But nothing can take away the wonder that is Brokeback Mountain, the impact that this film will have on other gay young people like yourself, on straight viewers who may see same gender loving in a positive way for the first time, on families who will be brought closer together by this film, etc. etc. etc.

I apologize if my postings in the "bravery" thread implied any criticism of this extraordinary film. It is the movie of the year and I truly hope that it will sweep the awards, the way Angels in America did for TV awards last year.

All my best wishes to you Priest in everything you do!

Steven Stanley

[Luscious]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 9:06am

Priest... your post is as heartfelt and moving as the film itself. I couldn't agree with you more. This film affected me deeply. It took me a full fifteen minutes to compose myself after it ended. In fact, it seemed to have that effect on a number of people. An older gentleman seated behind me made the statement that he was okay until the credits rolled. I know for me it was the accumulative reaction to everything that had come before, combined with the song by Bob Dylan (performed by Willie Nelson) that plays over the end credits. Like everything else about the movie, it's pitch perfect! Too bad for those that allow their insecurities, narrow-mindedness, and ignorance to cheat themselves out of experiencing this achingly beautiful film.

*** Spoiler Alert ***
One of the things that I admire most about the film is that it doesn't spell everything out for its audience. One criticism that I read about the movie concerns the somewhat ambiguous ending that Evelyn refers to. I, for one, like that it's left open to individual interpretation. Ennis will go to his grave never really knowing for sure what happened to Jack. The audience, like Ennis, is left to wonder and imagine.

Updated On: 12/18/05 at 09:06 AM

[pab]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 11:40am

"2005 will surely be regarded as a turning point in the history of gay cinema."
The many faces of gay Hollywood

[mikem]

Posted: 12/18/05 at 12:37pm

SPOILERS COMING

I haven't seen the movie yet, but in the original story, I think it's pretty clear that Ennis truly believes that Jack was killed because he was gay. (Others may disagree.) I also agree with EvelynNesbit that there is strong implication that Jack was in fact killed for that reason (it's not just Ennis's belief -- it really happened). There is a line something about how Jack's wife is very polite to Ennis on the phone, but her voice is incredibly cold.