Evangelical Couple Keeps Terminally Ill Daughter Alive Against Her Wishes

[Jungle Red]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 1:31pm

This is happening in Queens. I'm curious to know if any NYers are more familiar with the story than JMG.
via JMG

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 2:20pm

It was in the NYT this morning.

[JbaraFan1]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 2:28pm

The terminally ill woman, Grace, has been granted her wish to die by the appeals court. Hopefully the parents will respect this and not attempt further legal delays. (See news link below, dated today.)

As both a Christian and as a parent who has lost a son, I feel for the woman and for her family, but I also believe that being allowed to leave this life with as much dignity as possible is within the will of a loving God. It also seems to me that it would be allowing her to die a natural death, not a form of suicide anyway. (Not that I agree with the parents' beliefs about suicide.)

I just hope that the hospital can give her plenty of morphine to help make her death as easy and painless a one as possible.
Court rules that Grace Sung Eun Lee’s wish to die will been granted [sic]

[Jungle Red]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 2:36pm

Thanks for sharing.

I think people should be able to die as they please. It's selfish for parents to hold on, when it's obvious their children don't want, and can't, live.

[Brian07663NJ]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 3:23pm

The parents obviously need to understand one word...Compassion

[Roscoe]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 3:34pm

There really should have been a commandment somewhere about "Thou Shalt Not Impose Your Beliefs Into Other People's Lives." Maybe it could replace the one about not coveting stuff which no one pays attention to anyway.

Updated On: 10/5/12 at 03:34 PM

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 6:49pm

Terry Schiavo.
sunny von bulow.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 6:59pm

I heard about this last night on the news. It hits pretty close to home for me because I know of a family who was doing this to their child. Well, he was a child when all this happened, and he fell into a coma. Instead of just letting him be and die when he was ready to, they just kept trying treatments and other care for him. He had a rare disease called Hunter's Syndrome. He did finally die a few months ago. But, his mother just couldn't let go. I get it is so tough, but the poor kid went through some horrible treatments and he had no say and couldn't communicate how he felt. It was one of those situations where he should have died years ago because there was nothing else and he had no quality of life.

Now, this girl did say she didn't want anything and she was of age. So, her parents should have listened to that.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 10/5/12 at 7:01pm

When I had cancer I didn't have a living will set up just yet. I told my mom that if something went wrong in surgery I didn't want to be the next Terry Schiavo if the words "persistent vegetative state" started getting bandied about. I threatened to haunt her if they didn't pull the plug. She laughed and said, "How could you? You'll still be alive!"

I really feel for this poor woman. And I'm really glad my mother isn't religious.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 10/6/12 at 10:58pm

Welcome to my world guys. I can NOT tell you how many times we have gone thru these issues. Family believe there will be a miracle because they need one and as they are devout of course their Lord will provide one. I understand this is harder because she is young but here is the basic principle: NO one lives forever. Whether it comes from disease, trauma, fire, whatever. we are all gonna die. HOW we deal with that issue is at least as important as how we live. In fact it's part and parcel. Phyllis- glad to hear u have a living will now . I'm linking to a site Compassion & Choices esp the section w downloadable forms . I like the "my Particular Wishes" one and have one filed w my sis who is my POA for personal care.
What to do for the end of life

[Jane2]

Posted: 10/6/12 at 11:47pm

I heard one news report stating that when the parents lost the case, they said that their daughter changed her mind anyway. I wonder if that's true.

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 1:18am

The last news report I saw said that the parents claimed that the daughter was heavily medicated when she said she wanted to have the breathing and feeding tubes removed, so the argument was essentially that she was not of sound mind to make that judgment for herself. The report went on to emphasize the importance of having a living will and making sure that the person you name to execute it agrees to follow through.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 1:26am

She wants to remain on the ventilator now

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 1:30am

Well, the cynic in me thinks her parents put the fear of Hell in her. Whatever promoted her change of heart, I hope the weeks or months she has left are as free of pain and discomfort as possible.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 3:04am

She won the right to be the one to make the decision. WHEN she chooses to invoke that right is something else entirely. Eventually the tumour will impinge on her other systems. The respirator can keep her lungs inflated but not her kidneys, or heart functioning.
Keep bailing the Titanic.

[bethnor]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 10:06pm

there's something that's not being said. so long as she is deemed competent, she doesn't have to "win" the right to make a decision.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 10/7/12 at 11:50pm

So then the danger is when the tumour depresses her brainstem too far will she then be deemed NOT competent and MA & PA will step in?

Still, end game will be the same.

[bethnor]

Posted: 10/8/12 at 10:18pm

only if her living will fails to designate someone other than them. which she would have to be crazy to do. the order if your living will doesn't say and you are incapacitated, in most states, i believe, spouse > parents > children > siblings.