Holey Moley -- I agree -- Oops, she did it again: Britney on Showtime last night.

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 3/30/04 at 8:58am

I'm hesitant to admit this, but I watched the live broadcast of Britney Spears' Miami concert last night. Not for the entertainment value, mind you, but for the ... well, the study in self-delusion. Good Lord.

WTF WAS THAT? First off, Mouseka-Britney needs to lip synch ALL her numbers, not just the up tempo ones. There was such a marked difference between "live" and "lip". I guess the main difference is that on the "lip" ones she sang in tune -- or as much as she can, what with the ever-present glottal fry. On the "live" stuff (my favorite was the one with her sitting at the piano, being a poor man's Alicia Keys) the arrangement was in the key of C, and she was warbling in the key of Z flat.

As for the numbers, all I can say is "it's been done before, Li'l Brit -- and better." In her ode to self-flagellation, containing the effervescent lyric "I understand...the touch of my hand" (ew, ew, ew...), she was writhing around on a bed, while her dancers peppered the stage on their own beds, all shamelessly spanking their monkeys. Didn't Madonna do the self-same thing in her "Blond Ambition" tour with "Like a Virgin"? I guess the difference was that Britney then got into an acrylic bath-tub like thing, putting one leg in New York and one leg in Los Angeles -- very gynecological. Still done before, though -- there was a stripper in the 1950s named Dixie Doo that always climbed into an oversized champagne glass and gave herself a soapy sponge bath. Joan Crawford was right: there are no new plots.

Bless her heart.

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 3/30/04 at 9:03am

I wanna know more about Dixie Doo.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/30/04 at 9:35am

Prince ended the main set of his 1999 tour (back in 1982, he was so far ahead of his time!) by asking the audience, "Do you want to take a bath with me?" at which point a bathtub floated up onstage and in he climbed. Steam everywhere. And it slowly lowered back out of sight, before the encores.