I hate father's day
I hate father's day
#0I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 6:53pmMy father's an ass. I think it's pathetic that there's a day just for that pig headed, lying, homphobic scum bag. I also think it's a shame that he's taught my siblings to hate me. I hope they don't grow up like him.
SweetQintheLights
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/12/05
#1re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 7:05pm
Wow- upset a bit?
Many people don't have dad's. You should have a bit more consideration, I think.
Perhaps you can talk to him and make things at least civil?
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#2re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 7:10pm
And perhaps you can learn some apostrophe rule's SweetQ.
FW, I recommend just saying "Happy Pig Headed, Lying, Homphobic Scum Bag Day."
SweetQintheLights
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/12/05
#3re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 7:16pm
If I'm correct, I think there should be a comma between rule's and SweetQ.
Unless you're perfect, don't criticize
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#4re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 7:16pm
My dad hates me. He thinks that me being interested in musicals and being a preformer is ridclious. He comes to all my shows and stuff, but I always feel like he loves my siblings more due to the fact they do sports, and I'm not a sport person. He constantly has to verebally knock me down with things
Example- When I was signing up for my summer theater camp, he was like "How long does that last?" and I was like "July 10th through my birthday (August 19th)" and he got all like "You're just wasting your time..." and I got very offended. I swear he thinks I'm gay and thats why he hates me so much.
I feel you pain, Fiction Writer, I look like my dad and everyone tells me i do, and i hate it.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#7re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 7:37pm
Speaking of sports, that's another thing I didn't mention. My father would rather go to my cousin's games instead my few performances or countless swim meets. I don't know how much you guys know about swimming, but it's a pretty demanding sport. We'd have around three meets a week. Swimming is a sport, but since it doesn't involve hitting, throwing, punching, kicking, he doesn't go. I think he went to one meet, and didn't tell me he was coming. I got so freaked out I disqualified twice. Instead of telling me how good I did on the other two events (second place, if I remember correctly), he told me how bad I did. Grrr. (And they weren't major mistakes. Those judges get picky.)
He never called anything I did ridiculous, but he sure did make a point to praise my football playing cousins instead of his own son.
And, Namo, if he actually read my emails, I'd send him an email with "Happy Pig Headed, Lying, Homphobic Scum Bag Day" in it.
wexy
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/19/05
#8re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:00pmClumsy Dude, Now you have to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl and give the extra ticket to .........
#9re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:16pmMy father is 82, I thank God he is still around.
#10re: I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:19pmI'm glad, Elphaba. Do you still think I'm Children&Art?
MOXIEINTHECITY
Broadway Star Joined: 5/11/06
#11The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:19pm
It took me a long time to learn this but it finally hit me a few years ago.
My mom died when I was 7. I was the youngest of 5 daughters. All my other sisters were grown when my mom died. So my father was sort of "stuck" with me. Not that he ever made me feel like that, but more like he just didn't know what to do with me or how to relate to me.
So he taught me how to play baseball. Every wekeend and every night if he got home while i was light, we'd throw the ball around. It was the only way he knew how to relate to me or understand me. He used sports as a way to teach me certain lessons. Don't quit, get back up if you get hit, honor your committments, etc. He raised me as if I were a boy. No crying, speaking very directly, no hand holding or nurturinmg. Not because he was a bad person but because he just didn't know how to communicate any other way. He expresses concern through abrasiveness, caustic words and criticism. That's what he was taught.
I realized, years later, that his anger and his criticism was really rooted in his fear for my well being. He never wanted to see me struggle and didn't know how to communicate that appropriately.
I think he went to one meet, and didn't tell me he was coming. I got so freaked out I disqualified twice.
I hear you. My dad used to come to my ball games and I hated it. Not because I resented him but because I couldn't bear the thought that I disappointed him.
My step brother is gay and didn't come out til he was 32. His mom, my step mom, would never verbalize this to him but she's told me many times how she doesn't understand and how did this happen and why this or that...Was she not supportive enough, was she too coddling...etc. She was making it about her and wondering what she did wrong.
I just want to throw this out there and I hope you don't take offense to this....
Do you think maybe you and your Dad are at odds because you both , deep down, are worried that you've disappointed each other some how? So you keep repeating that anger cycle because it's easier than one of you ponying up, risking rejection, and saying, "You know...I feel XYZ because you ABC and that really bothers me. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want us to have a great relationship"
I truly, truly apologize if this offended you. It wasn't my intention.
Updated On: 6/18/06 at 08:19 PM
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#12The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:22pm
wexy- that would probably be.... Hmmm... tough. Maybe my brother or my mother or my aunt. Nah, probably my dad, he'd probably be happy to see the game, not me.
Updated On: 6/18/06 at 08:22 PM
#13The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:24pm
"Many people don't have dad's."
I've never understood this sentiment. Do you think people who don't have dads would rather have a "pig headed, lying, homphobic scum bag" than the memory of the dad they had? Frankly, I'd rather have the limited time I did with my dad than to have him be someone I couldn't ever stand/get along with.
#14The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:33pmMoxie, you haven't offended me at all. To answer your questions, at the swim meet, I was too shocked that he actually came to think about anything else. My father left my mother before I was born. They weren't married. I didn't meet my dad until I was six. I remember once, when I was in 4th grade, he picked me up and brought me back to his house in Dallas (about an hours drive) and tried to teach me to play baseball. All I wanted to do was swing, and he got real mad and we went back to his house. I guess my mom told him about my report card, because he grilled me during dinner about how I should try harder and study more and all that crap. Frankly, it was too late for him to be lecturing me. Where was he those first six years of my life? Why wasn't he there then teaching me to play baseball and all that boy stuff? I also remember a time when he took me hunting. I don't remember how old I was. He even bought me my own rifle and taught me to shoot it. (I was actually good tat that!) We spent two days and one night out there, but I'm way too impatient and I get restless way too easily. He got mad at me again because I didn't like waiting on the stupid deer. Again, it was too late for him to be doing any of that ****.
#15The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:44pmMy dad and mom are both gone. You can't take away Fathers Day from people who still have and love theirs. You aren't in a great relationship with yours, then you should have gone shopping today. Not sure what the point of this post is.
MOXIEINTHECITY
Broadway Star Joined: 5/11/06
#16The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:46pm
Where was he those first six years of my life? Why wasn't he there then teaching me to play baseball and all that boy stuff?
You're right...he messed up. No question. Which is probably the root of him keeping his distance from you. Maybe he feels guilty that he wasn't around, because you're gay and, in his mind, thinks it's his fault? I know, I know....this was something way out of his control and his being present in your life absolutely had no bearing on whether you're gay or straight. But parents don't sometimes get that, you know? When they're in it all they can wonder is "what did i do wrong? is that my fault? how can i fix this?" and it's all based in fear. Will he be treated differently? Will things be hard for him? Moms and Dads always think like this, especially when the situation is completey out of their control. Think about it...don't you hate stuff that you can't control? Doesn't it make you fee weak and powerless? Oh it's my fault, I didn't teach him well enough. I didn't give him what he needed. Etc, etc.
I'm 37. I've lived in NYC for almost 15 years. To this day, my father still makes snide comments about my living hear and what am I doing with my life. He has no idea of my success or really even understand what I do for a living because he's so focused on wanting to see me taken care of and settled and happy and safe.
In the end, they just want their kids to be happy and safe. Unfortunately, they let their own fear get in the way of being truly supportive.
#17the whining years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:53pmto cry, vb. the better to engender sympathy. let's all have a pity party for mister whiny pants. one-two-three, awwwww. feel better? life is rough.
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#18The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 8:56pm
vbplayer, what are the point of any of these threads?
Moxie, I dont't think my dad blames himself. I think it's the opposite. "It's not my fault he's a homo!" is his stance. My lost my mom when was 15. When she died, he tried to play dad and invite me to live with him, but I was happy where I was and didn't want to move.
#19The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:03pm
I'm sure that's the intent papa. My question is why was there a thought that sympathy could be found here?
Wonderful statement rath.
#20I hate father's day
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:07pm
I didn't come here to get sympathy. I get that from Zach.
And for Moxie, (I'm assuming), I didn't say I hate my dad. I said I hate that there's a day on the calendar that says he must be praised and worshiped. He is neither God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, a USA Veteran, or any President, and he definitely ain't no Saint.
#21The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:11pmFW - not trying to be rude in any way. I just don't know if you are looking for an answer here or if you just needed to get something off your chest. I am truly sorry about your relationship with your father, but your subject and the opening post was a little unclear on what was needed in regards to a response.
#22The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:18pm
I needed to get something off my chest. Everytime I'm at the market, or anywhere where they sell crap, I see FATHER'S DAY this and FATHER'S DAY that. It makes me want to throw everything in the trash.
If my father deserves anything, it's to die a cold, hard death. Alone.
#23The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:22pmYes, you just validated my point. Thanks, and vbplayer out. Enjoy yourself.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#24The Living Years
Posted: 6/18/06 at 9:23pmI feel that same way, Fiction Writer. When I see all my friends who adore their dads and can even have remotely serious converstations with them, I feel like- Why am I such a ****ty son, why can't I talk to my dad and have him understand me like they do. I feel like there's something wrong with me, when I know I can't change who I am.
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