I told someone

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 6:15pm

So today I kindof told one of my co-workers that I wasn't into girls. I never used the gay word but still. This girl walked by, and he was like 'Oh man, she is so hot...,would you do her, Jasp?'. This has happened before and I always just played along, although Im not sure how convincing I was. But today, I said in a moment of madness 'Dunno - girls dont really do it for me'. He laughed at first, but could see I wasnt joking, and he was all like 'Whoah Jasp, I had on idea you were like that.' He seemed really freaked out at first, but later came up to me and siad its all cool. I was really worried at first, because I had no intention of saying anthing to him and was afraid hed tell everybody else, but he asked me if anyone else knew and when I told him, he said he wouldnt tell anyone. Im still kinda worried, but its really cool that an actual person knows that about me...in a weird way I sorta like it. I just really hope he does keep it to himself.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:30pm

Good for you, Jasp! Sounds like you were very brave and took a risk. That's an important step and something to be proud of.

Now go out and tell someone you feel is SAFE. It's even more important to have a support network. You have us, but there must be someone in your world you can feel safe with. Here's the link for that book again.
Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers

Updated On: 11/22/04 at 07:30 PM

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:30pm

Yeah, thats how he put it.

And its just scary that before I was the only one who knew (apart from you guys), so nobody ever had to find out if I didn't want. Now its kind of out of the bottle, and kind of out of my control which is kind of scary. The more I think about it the more I wish Id said nothing.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:34pm

Jasper - the reality is that life is never really in anyone's control. The best we can do is be true to ourselves and carry on along with the tide.

You did a great thing for yourself today - and I think you'll find that it will get easier each and every time.

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:36pm

Dgrant, did you ever get the private message I sent you? No big deal you didnt reply, but Im not sure if I sent it right.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:39pm

Jasper - I made a mistake and erased a bunch I didn't mean to, so I may very well have not. Send it again if you want to

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 7:45pm

i'm proud of you Jasper!

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 8:57pm

YAY FOR JASPER!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 9:12pm

that's awesome jasper! congrats! You've been making huge steps, and I'm glad that you're sharing them with us. :)

ps: even if now you wish you hadn't said anything, in the end it will help you be the person you want to be, so i commend the strength that it took to make this step! Have a great thanksgiving

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 9:57pm

I'm very happy for you. See? Not everyone will freak out. I'm glad your coworker was alright with it.

[Ellie3]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:18pm

Well done, Jasper!

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:20pm

Good work, J!

[Delphine]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:22pm

Congrats, Jasp! Keep it up! And don't worry- it will get easier for you, trust me.

[camerangel]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:34pm

Jasp, I commend you. That had to be hard, but at the same time it's a huge step for you. Eventually it will probably be a relief that you said something.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:35pm

I hate when people tell me/you/anyone that they're "okay" with it!? WTF is that??? Like I care that you're "okay" with my being gay? It's my F*CKing life. I never asked for you to accept me. I could care less what you think about me! I never asked you to be "okay" with it... like I needed for you to accept my life style in some way. bull. Should I walk up to you and say, "hey, Bob, I'm okay with you being straight, and all. it was off-putting at first, but I've learned to accept this kind of life style."... no. I wouldn't. I didn't tell you so you could accept me. I'm a human being just like you. I don't need any kind of approval or acceptance. Especially from people who, not all, but many, are bigoted homophobes who aren't accepting of anything, and who feel that thay have some kind of power over me to tell me, a fellow human being, what I can and can't do just because I'm a homosexual. Who made you god? F*CK that. I don't want anything to do with those kinds of "human beings."

thanks. I needed that. Updated On: 11/22/04 at 10:35 PM

[grownupgroupie]

Posted: 11/22/04 at 10:36pm

Congrats, sweetie...you are taking steps and getting more and more comfortable with this and with yourself! So glad for you.

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 1:00am

welcome to step one of being a MUCH happier person in the long run, jasper. Yes, coming out IS scary and touch, but after youd o it, wether you lose a few people in your life or youd on't, you are a MUCH happier and healthier person for it.

[paradox_error]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:48am

that sounds similar to the way I told my first person. I was in the car driving and I accidentally let something slip in conversation to my friend who i was driving. She asked me, and i couldnt lie. Since then it just became easier and easier to tell people. I told more people, then a year after I told that first person it finally got out, and i got outted. I'm really happy it lasted the long.
Well done. The first step is the hardest. I'm nearly ready to tell my family now, and I don't hate myself the way I used to. You will experience similar things.
Congratulations on this step, and good luck with the ones that will follow

[Jasper D]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 2:08pm

Thank you to you all, youre all too good to me. I appreciate it.