My Best Friend Just Moved to Africa...

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 7:57pm

I just put my best friend of many, many years on a plane to Toronto, where she'll stay for a month until she leaves to work in Africa for a year. I've seriously been crying all weekend -- she and I are like sisters; we're used to talking every day and now we're hoping that the Malawian postal service is quasi-reliable. I feel totally lost.

Sorry... I didn't mean to get all Cruel_Sandwich on you all. I just had to get that out because my mom just told me to "get over it".

Updated On: 9/28/08 at 07:57 PM

[Weez]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:00pm

Your mother's sympathy knows no bounds! I mean, I see where she's coming from, and she kinda has a point (the "it's happening, there's nothing you can do, it's best you move on for now, she'll be back in a year" point, not the "STFU, crybaby" point ), but that doesn't mean you're not hurting. You have my sympathies, and my assurances that there are people on this website who genuinely care and want you to feel better. If that helps *any*. *hugs*

Updated On: 9/28/08 at 08:00 PM

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:07pm

Thanks Weez. That means alot. I'm so proud of my friend for living out her dreams... I just wish that my family could see that I'm going to need a little time before I feel great about the idea (I didn't expect it to feel so much like a break-up... a week ago I honestly thought that I would be fine today).

[xoangel2789xo]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:16pm

It's totally understandable, I'm missing my best friend too (she's in Germany) and the rest of my close friends are spread out in different locations.

Parent's can be....well yeah. In my observation and experience they tend to say a lot of hurtful things without realizing it. What can you do.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:31pm

2 of my best friends left for Puerto Rico and Germany. That was over 3 years ago and I still miss them. Just be sure to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you. If I didn't talk to my friends at least once a week long distance I'd be a mess but just hearing their voices on the other line brightens me up.

I know you're hurting but just remember to always value that friendship and continue to cultivate it. Before you know it she'll be back in time for Thanksgiving next year and you two will be 2 peas in an awesome pod again Jenna. Good Luck.

Updated On: 9/28/08 at 08:31 PM

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:50pm

We're thinking we should be able to talk from time to time on Skype(?). I have no idea how it works, but she swears I should be able to figure it out.

Thanks for the really kind words (this board is great sometimes). It's going to be a tough year, but I'm sure we'll through. For now though, I think I just need some ice cream, possibly some take-out, and a chick flick.

[scott68]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 8:27am

Skype is fantastically easy and really just fantastic in general. I'm in Prague for the semester and use it nearly every day. It'll DEFINITELY help you keep in touch.

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 1:55pm

Awesome! I just downloaded it and it seems a lot like MSN Messenger. I can't wait to try it out.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 4:52pm

Awww, Jenna, hang in there hon. At least you know it's just for a year.

The ice cream, take out and chick flick sound like a plan!

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 5:19pm

Ok...I gotta admit what I thought this thread was about at first...

Those e-mails about a person in Africa who is dying and so-and-so needs you to send money...etc...


Jenna, it's hard when a really good friend leaves but just know, it's not for good (no Wicked pun intended).

**I don't want to get into my issues but I had a wonderful friend, we talked everyday and laughed about everything. When she killed herself, I knew it was forever...and although I cried for 4 days straight, I knew I had to continue with life and...I did. Of course, I think about her often but I continue with what I need to do. My life can't stop because she is gone.**

Before you know it, you'll be laughing and having a good time...whether it be on Skype, email, or when she gets back. We are here for you and hopefully your family will be there for you too.

Updated On: 9/29/08 at 05:19 PM

[StockardFan]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 5:26pm

SweetQ, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend......

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 5:30pm

Thank you, Stockard. It was 3 years this past September.

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 7:15pm

I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend, SweetQ. You're much stronger than me, I'm not sure what I would do in that situation... (Is that her in your avatar? It's none of my business, I'm just being curious.)

As for me, a friend took me for raspberry cheesecake ice cream this afternoon. It was fantastic.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 9:24pm

biting tongue, but the old adage "pull up your big girl panties and deal with it" comes to mind...

[xoangel2789xo]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 9:38pm

I'm sorry about your friend, SweetQ. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone that way.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 9:43pm

Thank you Jenna and xoangel-

At that point in time, I didn't think I could handle it either. I guess one the situation happens, you are more-or-less forced to handle it. I had talked to her hours before and she told me that her boyfriend told her that she should kill herself. If I had only done something... But, alas, I hear, I hear...it's not my fault, she would have done it regardless. *sigh*
And yes, that is her in my avatar.

Elphaba, I don't know who your message is referring to but whomever it is, I don't believe it's appropriate in this thread.

Updated On: 9/29/08 at 09:43 PM

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 9/29/08 at 9:53pm

Chin up and all that, huh Elp?

[Elphaba]

Posted: 9/30/08 at 10:43am

sweet, you know my mother passed away 4 months ago....so you know darn well it was not aimed at you.

It was aimed at a young woman who was whining about a friend moving away. Funny, in this day and age where many of us are still losing people to AIDS, and soldiers and civilians are dying in Iraq, it just seems really silly to whine about someone moving away.....who she can still talk to, write to, email with, and see again.

I mean if a friend moves away anyone would feel sad, but let's put it in perspective, shall we?

We're not talking about an 11 or 12 yr old girl, in which case I'd have said nothing, but 23? C'mon...as I said....
PULL UP YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT.

or as Cher said to Nick....SNAP OUT OF IT!

Updated On: 9/30/08 at 10:43 AM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 9/30/08 at 10:45am

perhaps I was a bit too harsh, but I am saying nothing your mother hasn't, Jenna....she gets it.

Just put it in perspective and move on

[jenna2]

Posted: 9/30/08 at 11:25am

Please don't treat me like I am some over-protected, spoiled brat. You have no idea what I've been through in my life or anything else I may be going through currently. All I have been trying to get across is that for me, in my life, right now, my friend leaving is a BIG DEAL. Is it the biggest, most important thing happening on the planet? No.

I am sad, and I think I should be allowed to be at the moment. I haven't barricaded myself in my apartment or anything -- I'm just giving myself the time that I need to deal with my friend leaving. I know better than anyone how I work and how I need to process things before I can move on completely.

Thanks again to everyone else for understanding and being so supportive. (You have no idea how much the kind words have meant to me.)

[elphiesmagic]

Posted: 9/30/08 at 7:05pm

Jenna, of course it's extremely difficult to say goodbye to someone who's been such an important part of your daily life as they leave the continent for a year. The computer is a wonderful thing - you'll be able to still "talk" in real time, although you won't be able to go to the movies or for a meal or just sit in your room laughing and crying about your latest life experiences.

You're lucky to have someone so special in your life, and she's lucky to have someone like you.