WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 5:02am

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.

"OK, do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.

"No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I'm unattached. I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.

"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black."

"Well" replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porno movie. The leading man was black."

"Oh" says the midwife. "It's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions, but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy".

"Oh" the midwife repeats, "It's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes."

"Yes" continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this, the midwife collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum.

The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank God for that".

"What do you mean? says the midwife, shocked.

"Well, says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark."

[hannahshule]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 5:54am

oh dear.
Morning!

[mominator]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 6:24am

I think... I'll be.... over here now........

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 7:23am

Oh my.

[Becky2]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 9:16am

Oh my!

[beacon1]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 9:20am

Bboobs!

*points to corner*

I think SOMEONE has earned a 10-minute Time-Out!

[JbaraFan1]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 10:49am

hahahahahaahaaaahaa....

[KelRel]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 10:51am

Wow...

[Magdalene]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 10:52am

did NOT see that coming---must clean orange juice off computer screen...

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 10:53am

Boobsy...you know I love you, right? That's why it pains me to inform you that today's chuckle has earned you a spot in hell.

I promise to send you juice boxes from on high to quench your thirst in the sulfur-ridden, firey pit.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 10:57am

Kitzy sweetie....I got that spot reserved along time ago.

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 11:01am

And that's probably what makes me love you so

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 11:09am

Love it, boobsy. Reminds me of this joke:

Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children.
The 1st brunette says, "I know I'm going to have a girl, because I conceived while I was on my back."
The 2nd brunette chimes in and says, "Well, mine's going to be a boy, because I was on top during conception."
"OH NO!" the blonde suddenly yelled, "I'm having puppies!!"

Updated On: 3/29/06 at 11:09 AM

[Michelleruth2]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 11:34am

Ewwwwwwww!!!!

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 2:51pm

Two words - WOOF-WOOF! lol.

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 3/29/06 at 5:38pm

This was just forwarded to me and I kind of LOVED it:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.