How does this sound?

[BwayTheatre11]

Posted: 12/14/03 at 8:14pm

For my Broadway column in the school newspaper, I am writing about Disney on Broadway. This is my lead so far...how does it sound? I wanted it to be straight forward yet grab someones attention. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am not asking you to do my work, so don't get confused! I just want someone else other then me read it.

Watching a favorite Disney character by popping in a video (or nowadays, a DVD) or at a Disney theme park is not the only option anymore! Disney has made it to the Great White Way. Disney has three shows currently running on Broadway: Aida, The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. Disney Theatricals hopes there is more to come.

Updated On: 12/14/03 at 08:14 PM

[BillFinn]

Posted: 12/14/03 at 9:17pm

"Watching Ariel belt her heart out at the brink of the sea or riding into a haunted mansion full of timeless spirits isn't the only option to experiencing the Disney phenomenon anymore!"


Get more specific. Adjectives. Verbs. That's what grabs someone's attention. Originality.