I find it flabbergasting that anyone would say that Carousel the show romanticizes spousal abuse or domestic violence, or even that the character Julie herself romanticizes the abuse.
Well, I'm flabbergasted that flabbergasts you. That's a lot of flabbergasting.
As for the person who referenced "watching this man beat all these women" in reference to Carousel, it is clear that the person has never actually seen Carousel.
True, he doesn't "beat" other women, but he roughly manhandles two other women in the show and his violent proclivities are apparent early on. The forced he used to shove Carrie just before the bench scene in the 1994 revival was a pretty shocking moment and the fact that Julie forgets it even happened shortly before If I Loved You is kind of...flabbergasting.
The reasoning given in your spoiler (I'm flabbergasted we need spoiler alerts with this 73 year-old show) is one line in a brief moment that hardly underscores the idea that the line itself is an example of the show being against abuse. When pushed, she agrees and no more is said of it. Julie's co-dependent behavior gets far more attention, including its own song, What's the Use of Wond'rin'? A co-dependency she acknowledges with her daughter in a rapturous and lush finale of feels.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian