2004 Best Headlines

[joeyjoe]

2004 Best Headlines#0

Posted: 12/14/04 at 11:13am

ACTUAL HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy [That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [nuff said!]

[laactress]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#1

Posted: 12/14/04 at 11:49am

Those were good JJ! Thanks :)

It started with a sipmle idea, collecting one paper clip for every life lost, the feelings that connect us...are greater than those that divide us!

[joeyjoe]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#2

Posted: 12/14/04 at 12:09pm

thanks, LA... unfortunately, the person who sent these to me neglected to credit any publication, so who knows if they're real or not...

[timote316]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#3

Posted: 12/14/04 at 12:25pm

Real or not, still funny lol

[paradox_error]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#4

Posted: 12/17/04 at 12:50am

those are great! what a laugh!

[bwaylyric]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#5

Posted: 12/17/04 at 1:34am

and let's not forget this one from the Chicago Sun-Times:

ROSIE WEDS LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND, SLAMS BUSH

[My Fair Lady]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#6

Posted: 12/17/04 at 10:12am

And the one on the New York Post, the exclusive on Kerry's vice president that wasn't true.

[jacobtsf]

re: 2004 Best Headlines#7

Posted: 12/17/04 at 10:57am

YAY for joeyjoe!

David walked into the valley With a stone clutched in his hand He was only a boy But he knew someone must take a stand There will always be a valley Always mountains one must scale There will always be perilous waters Which someone must sail -Into the Fire Scarlet Pimpernel