A Good Wife

[DofB5]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 6:34pm

It's a good thing we have this off topic board because I just got the following on the bus tonight and wanted to share it with you all. If there are any typos, it's because I was laughing my butt off when I was typing it.

Oh, yeah and guys--all I've got to say is: Dream on!

I was told this was a real magazine article as follows:





The Good Wife's Guide
Housekeeping Monthly
13 May 1955



Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) I part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up school books, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain. If he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and preasure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he has gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and trustfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 6:41pm

Thank God I wasn't a housewife in 1955...if I had a husband who demanded even half of the things on this list I would laugh in his face and storm out of the house. So much for his favorite homecooked meal. McDonald's anyone?

[DofB5]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 6:43pm

I love the "Prepare the children" part -- so how do you want them? Baked or fried? LOL!

D

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 7:04pm

I prefer fried myself but will take baked in a pinch

[Princess MimiChica]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 7:13pm

luckily, this is probably a made-up article =)

[DofB5]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 7:29pm

Oh, I'm not to sure about that. My dad was one who demanded the dinner be on the table when he hit the door.

My Mom wanted to get a job and he told her if she did, he'd keep her until she got her first paycheck and then out the door she'd go.

He had very strict ideas as to what a womans place was and a man wasn't a man if he couldn't keep her. I'm afraid that colored my ideas as well for a long, long time.

BTW, that's not the case now.

And I'd like my kids stuffed, if you please. Lots of mushrooms and maybe some chestnuts.

D

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 11/24/03 at 9:06pm

Actually Princess...it's NOT made up. It's from an actual textbook. We talked about it once in one of my social justice classes.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 12:03am

We got a copy of that article in 6th grade from our vigilant feminist of an English teacher. Goodtimes.

And I don't care for children, to be honest. I prefer priest (sir, it's too good at least).

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 1:00am

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Hmm, a bit "Far From Heaven" don't you think.

Too fuuny DofB. But perhaps if modern women followed some of these guidelines, our divorce rate would go down. Of course, the suicide rate would be very high...


(Before all you modern gals attack me, I was just joshin' you.)

[JakeB]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 5:07am

lmao.

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 10:29am

"And don't forget to take your tranquilizers!"

Thanks for that, Dof!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 10:43am

i don't see what all the fuss is about. this seems like a simple list of things that are the least a wife can do. remember girls..."a good wife always knows her place." oh, excuse me, the nice young men in the white coats say it's time for me to stop typi-

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 3:07pm

Ladies: I actually do greet my man at the door each evening with his martini in hand. I always tidy the place up a bit before his train arrives and I put on something nice to wear. I have dinner ready so that we can spend time sharing another martini and talking about our day. In winter, the fire is lit,and usually so am I from a pre-arrival martini. That usually leads to raucous sex, a messy room, burnt dinner, and a hangover. Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it!

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 3:52pm

But, SonofMMS, what do you do with the kids? Lock them in the closet?

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 4:06pm

Only until they're ready to "Come Out" LOL

Oh man, I was getting such mixed emotions while reading that. Where at some points I was laughing histerically, at others it just made me mad to think that women and men used to actually live like this. It was thinking like that which caused my parent's to get a divorce. Oh well, I've been getting awesome guilt presents since I was 6.

[DofB5]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 6:58pm

Well as I expected, this was the main topic on the bus ride home again as the ladies told what happened when they showed it to their husbands.

Most of them (the husbands) thought there were some GREAT ideas there. Some knew better and stayed quiet.

Anyway, I thought it was hoot and we all agreed that it must have been written by very delusional male on a very BIG ego kick.

The ones that really churn my butter are:

If he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and preasure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Places of entertainment? Like, let's say, a STRIP bar?? Over HIS dead body. He'd understand strain and preasure alright when I got my hands on him.

And

Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and trustfulness. You have no right to question him as soon as the ink on the divorce papers is dry.

Other than that, I can kinda agree with some of the others.

Glad you all enjoyed it but I did notice a lack of comments from some I thought would have SOMETHING to say. Maybe they're the wise ones.

D

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 8:25pm

SonofMMS, I think you just wrote the milennium edition of The Good Wife's Guide.

A good wife always knows her place.... it's on top.

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 8:42pm

A good wife is one who loves her husband & vice versa . Our marriage is 50/50 & everyday we both tell each other that we love each other. We have never had a major fight in the 10 plus years we know each other because we never let it get to that stage . Either one of us says we are sorry if we knew we were the one who was wrong before it goes any further.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/25/03 at 8:52pm

As a child of a mother whom I lovingly refer to as Liz Taylor with an MD, I think that it's great that you have a successful marriage, Roxy. I returned a ring over the summer, probably because my ex and I didn't have dichotomy you and your wife do. Maybe also because we were WAY too young and because he called All About Eve a chick flick....

But congrats on a successful relationship.

[DofB5]

Posted: 11/26/03 at 5:34pm

Well, Mr. R that gives you something to count amoung your blessings. It's very nice to hear.

I've teased that a truer wedding vow for today should go, "Till death do us part. I get bored with you or something better comes along." but I hope to someday take the vows for the first and last time.

D

[PB ENT.]

Posted: 11/26/03 at 6:09pm

Hi ! First visit here...we'll see.
DofB5~ I remember that article It might be from a "readers digest" from the 50's. Seriously funny and honestly might work...IF it's applied to both mates! Many wives work as hard as husbands and still have the bulk of the "domestic goddess" chores, including the kid duties! So... I say split the pleasantries in half and share them!

"happily married for 31 years to a great guy who loves and trusts me as I am and vica versa".

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/26/03 at 6:18pm

The wife came in late so I had a bowl of minestrone soup, saltines & a grilled cheese sandwich & a coke

Oh, Roxy, busted on another thread? This was your response to the "What's for Dinner" question.

Shame on you. Why did you not have dinner prepared for her, a bath drawn, candles lit, the kids locked away in the basement...

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/26/03 at 6:21pm

Oh, and THE wife???

Not for long, Buster if you keep this up!

But I'll be available to "bring you your slippers".

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 11/26/03 at 8:03pm

That is what I had. She was not feeling well & told me to have what I wanted as she was going to bed. I cook for her many times & help her whenever I can