Adulterous Affair?

[DMsquared2]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 2:27pm

If an attractive married man with young kids hit on you, what would you do?

Oh, and this is for the gays only. Updated On: 12/8/07 at 02:27 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 2:34pm

This has happened to me. I told him that even though he didn't respect that gold ring on his finger, I did. I then sent him on his way.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 5:31pm

The last time that happened, I took him back to my hotel room and gave him what he wanted.

Why?

[soapguy17]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 5:38pm

Why for gays only? An affair is an affair. Are you talked about an affair with closeted/down low men specifically? I have nothing to add to this thread, I'm just curious.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 5:55pm

When such a man hit on me I asked him what he thought Mother Teresa would suggest I do and then I turned him into the squealing bottom pig he is to this day.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 6:02pm

This happened to me, also. I said to him, "Senator Craig, I don't think this is a very good idea." So he wiped his bum and caught his plane.

[scott68]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 7:01pm

Well, he did say "attractive," so Craig's clearly out. And when I say out, I don't mean, OUT, but... well, I really don't know WHAT I mean.

[DMsquared2]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 9:30pm

Seriously,
I don't know if he's on the "down low" and I don't want to assume too much.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 9:36pm

Then ask his wife.

Gay, straight, he's still cheating on her, right? If she knows, great. If not, well, he's still cheating on his wife. The only thing that matters is what you do. Here are some questions to ponder.

Where was this married man with kids hitting on you and where was his wife while it was going on?

What do you want from him? Are you looking to screw around or are you looking for a relationship?

Has he cheated on his wife before?

How old are the kids?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 9:38pm

PS - Use a condom!

[DMsquared2]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 9:50pm

Get ready...

Church. Although the church that I go to is very progressive (our choir director and church secretary are gay) and we support the ordination of LGBT people even though our denomination doesn't.

He's always been very touchy-feely with me--most grown men don't hug and rub your back when they greet you, they shake your hand.

What really shocked me is that he sent me a friend request on Facebook!

I accepted the request politely and wrote on his "wall" thanking him and saying how I surprised I was to see he had a profile. But then he sent me a private message replying "You never know who'll you find here. Hope you are well."

I've never had sex before and I feel like if I already had I wouldn't be so ambivalent about the situation, therefore I don't expect a relationship.

As far as I know, he hasn't cheated on wife. I'm not very close to him and his family. His kids are both toddlers.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 9:53pm

Well, you could be jumping to conclusions, but often where there is smoke, there is fire.

At any rate, don't let this guy be the first one you have sex with. Seriously. You'll thank yourself for it later.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 10:01pm

Shortly after high school, a man from my church hit on a good friend of mine. He was not so subtle- took him to a nice lunch then back to his hotel room he'd rented for the afternoon. The man in question, in addition to being a pillar of the church and sunday school teacher was married with (Wait for it)

Ten kids.

There's an old expression in the gay community: We are Everywhere.

Indeed.

[tazber]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 10:03pm

At any rate, don't let this guy be the first one you have sex with. Seriously. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Amen!

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 12/8/07 at 10:16pm

Although the church that I go to is very progressive (our choir director and church secretary are gay) and we support the ordination of LGBT people even though our denomination doesn't.

Wow, one of THOSE churches! A GAY CHOIR DIRECTOR?

I am happy the Prozac and Wellbutrin didn't rob you of your sex drive.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 12:39am

Rory Gilmore lost it to a married man. And she went to Yale!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 12:46am

I just checked with my good friend Terry McMillan to see if she had any advice for you regarding this situation and she says you should "GET ON THE PHONE TO HIS WIFE RIGHT NOW. YOU CALL HIS WIFE RIGHT NOW AND YOU TELL HER THAT HER HUSBAND IS A GAY HOMOSEXUAL MAN AND THAT HE IS USING HER AND EXPOSING HER TO GOD KNOWS WHAT AND MAKING HER A FOOL IN FRONT OF ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS."

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 12:49am

And wear really short shorts when you call her!

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 8:14am

Updated On: 9/5/08 at 08:14 AM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 9:06am

Why do you call this an affair and not a one-night stand?

You're spending an awful lot of time taking HIS inventory and none taking your own.

What are YOU looking to get out of this? If it's just hot sex with a "attractive guy," can't you find that elsewhere?

What is attracting YOU to what you call an "affair" with a man with 2 kids and a wife?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 10:56am

Very good, PalJoey. Very good.

[somuchtodo]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 11:24am

For Christ's sake, what do they teach you in this church?!

[DMsquared2]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 12:57pm

This isn't a religious issue or a crisis of faith so I wouldn't go to my church's interim pastor. Both of my parents are clergy anyway. Heh.

Basically, I know it's wrong and I think overall I was simply curious about the hypothetical question I asked in the first post.

I'm just trying to figure out if he any ulterior motives.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 1:05pm

"Where was this married man with kids hitting on you and where was his wife while it was going on?"

In a hotel I was staying in. It was late and I was in the lobby reading a book. His wife was upstairs in bed.



"What do you want from him? Are you looking to screw around or are you looking for a relationship?"

It's not what I wanted from him. It's what he wanted from me.


"Has he cheated on his wife before?"

I never asked.


"How old are the kids?"

Pre-teens

[PalJoey]

Posted: 12/9/07 at 1:06pm

I'm just trying to figure out if he any ulterior motives.

We're trying to figure out if YOU do.