An Open Letter to the Queen of England

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 11:08am

Published by The Free Republic, a right-wing website much beloved by right wing wackos.

Your Majesty,

We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.

We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of “Fairness”. We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).

Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.

Your most humble servants,

The American People


Who would like to begin pointing out the 1,348 things wrong with this letter?
FYI Freeper is slang for right-wing moron

[Gothampc]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 11:36am

As I hope you already know, this letter in a modified version has been going around for years. I remember it back when Reagan won and also when Clinton won.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 11:50am

"Who would like to begin pointing out the 1,348 things wrong with this letter?"

1. The British sovereign is not addressed as "Your Grace."

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 11:58am

It's hard to pick a favorite but I'd have to go with the idea of fleeing American rule for British as a way to avoid socialist tyranny.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 12:02pm

I have heard the old Gal likes tobe addressed as Sweet Meats.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 12:11pm

"We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us)."

It's also cute to make this appeal to a foreign-born monarch who happens to be the Supreme Governor of the Church of England.

[Scripps2]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 12:39pm

Not today, of all days. It's past gin o'clock already and she's just had to take a 'phone call from the Pope - very angry that he didn't get the job of Archbishop of Canterbury.

[artscallion]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 1:01pm

Well then, back to England with you. Tally ho, y'all!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 1:04pm

Can someone explain England's National Health and gun laws to him?

[Scripps2]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 2:11pm

"Well then, back to England with you. Tally ho, y'all!"

Sorry. The logs are on the fire, the toast is on the fork, the ice chinks in the glass, the drawbridge is up and the portcullis is down.


Australia isn't an option either.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 2:12pm

What's "distain"?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 2:33pm

Apparently it's a typo that's been going around since Reagan.

[Wynbish]

Posted: 11/9/12 at 3:09pm

Maybe they think that's the British spelling

[Jon]

Posted: 11/10/12 at 3:27pm

Evidently, Southern Christian Republican idiots are desperate to move to any place where English is spoken.
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