Andrea Yate's husband Rusty---this made me so angry

From an article about Andrea's upcoming retrail for murdering her children:

"Yates' former husband, Rusty Yates, divorced her in March 2005, three years after she was sentenced to life in prison in the deaths of the five children.

Rusty Yates married Laura Arnold, 41, during a private ceremony Saturday at the church where they met.

The church minister said Yates chose to move on with his life while resisting temptation to pity himself."

This is the man who would not get her the help she needed and kept after her to have more children even though she was obviously falling apart. And he doesn't want to pity himself...

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That's just not true, Beacon. It's a MUCH more complicated story than that.

If anything, the blame should be put on two parties: (1) the Yates' relgious leader--HE was the one who counseled them to have more children--and (2) the Texas medical establishment, which misprescribed antidepressants when antipsychotics were needed. We now know that antidepressants can make a psychotic patient MORE able to inflict violence on him/herself or others.

But no one knew what to do about Andrea. To blame it all on Rusty is unfair and inaccurate and ultimately does a disservice to the memories of Noah, John, Paul, Luke and Mary Yates. Their mother's illness was something their father couldn't cure.

The book below is the definitive account of this sad, sad case.
Are You There Alone? : The Unspeakable Crime of Andrea Yates

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I also read this past week that he visits her once a week still.

Good points but I contend that receiving COUNSEL to do something doesn't mean you MUST. Rusty must have seen what was happening and though he could not cure her...didn't he worry about her?

I think it was the Church leader's quote about "pitying himself" that threw me.

I feel for both Andrea and Rusty...but she didn't live in that home ALONE with those kids. He was there, too. And the kids counted on HIM to be a conscientious, responsible adult who would ensure their safety. And, I remember statements that her family made that they had discussed her mental health with Rusty who didn't seem to think it was something of great concern.

It is amazing what coping mechanisms we have to deal with difficult situations. I had experience with a severely depressed friend who had just found out she was pregnant with her 6th child. The woman was barely functioning. We stopped by to see her in the middle of the day to find her sprawled on the couch, barely able to have a conversation as her older children tended the younger ones. Once her husband left for work she fell onto the counch and didn't get up until it was time to start dinner. When he arrived she was upright and moving around. Then she would go straight to bed.

We tried talking to him about it and it came down to "I can't work at my job and worry about her. I put it out of my mind when I leave. I'm sure everything will be fine."

Finally we visited at one point where the children's distress at their mother's condition was extremely pronounced and she was hardly responding. We stepped in to help (one of us was an RN who was a great resource) and that night the bishop of our ward (congregation) was there to meet the dad when he got home from work. He gave the bishop the "I can't afford to worry during the day" speech...and the good bishop apparently gave him some very kind but very straight man-to-man counsel.

My friend was immediately hospitalized and received appropriate treatment. Daycare was arranged for the children, we cleaned the house, froze meals and we helped the family through this tough period. Her husband was quite a changed man after he saw that everyone else was right that it was a BIG DEAL.

And,that was the last baby for that couple...

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I just keep remembering an interview with him right after the verdict was given and he was standing talking with reporters.

They asked him what he was going to do and he said he'd been thinking about his options and decided he would probably seek a divorce and get married again so he wouldn't have tbe alone. That it would be hard to go through life without a spouse.

I wondered how Andrea would take that news.

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From the very beginning, I felt there was something peculiar about Rusty Yates. I still can't put my finger on it. I think that basically I found him to be a "plastic person"--insincere and artificial. I got all this while watching the footage of him checking out the makeshift shrine that well-wishers had set up as a memorial to his children. I got the strange feeling that he really didn't care.

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FlitFloat, let's get one thing straight, I DO hate children. I find no reason for them to exist. I became a teacher for two reasons: July and August.

Thank you very much.

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Updated On: 3/20/06 at 08:16 PM

Actually, that was me giving you the benefit of the doubt with all evidence to the contrary.

How very sad. On several levels.

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