Anyone Here An Adult Child Of Divorce?

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/28/06 at 11:36pm

As in, your parents split up after you graduated high school. Anyone here an adult child of divorce?

It seems as if I'm about to become one.

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:09am

Yep. Been there, done that.

My parents divorced just before my 23rd birthday.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. It isn't fun at any age.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:40am

It is pretty common these days. Married couples who have grow apart or developed problems in their relationships, will stay together for "the kid's sake". Once the kids grow up and leave the nest, there isn't any reason for them to stay together.

[DG]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:45am

Just to add a different perspective . . .

My parents FINALLY divorced, after many years of moving in that direction, when I was 21. It was something that our entire family wanted, needed and desired. And it was a good thing.

At any age, whether child or adult, the thing to remember is that - despite the familial connections - these are still two individuals living their own lives, and ultimately, they have to respond to their own needs.

Hopefully, the relationaships will find their own path, and everyone involved will be the better off for the choice.

One personal note - I would highly recommend taking advantage of someone to talk to about it (either professional or not) - as I think it can greatly affect your experience now and in the future.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:32pm

I think I read a study somewhere that says no matter what they tell you, it really is the fault of the kids. Happy new year, Cruel!

[DG]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:47pm

"no matter what they tell you, it really is the fault of the kids."

It's also why they drink. A lot.

[ally_kay_on_broadway]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 12:53pm

my parents split in my first year of university. 4 years later, i still don't think i'm over it. i guess you never will be...

for me, the hardest part was accepting change (i mean of course, AFTER the initial 'my parents don't love eachother' shock. Accepting a new house, new rules, new traditions, new..*shudder* people in my parents lives...

[One Song Glory]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 6:42pm

Staying "for the sake of the kids" just causes stress on both the parents AND their kids, it's not a good solution.

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 7:04pm

I'm curious, Cruel...

Did you just want a show of hands here? Or did you start this thread to have a OT discussion on the subject?

You haven't weighed in once with a comment since your initial post.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 8:07pm

This is typical of Cruel, b12b. I think he just likes to see himself post.

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 8:26pm

Perhaps you're right, SM2... but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt... despite his "hit and run" here.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 12/29/06 at 8:27pm

The moral of this is to get married AFTER the kids go off to college.