Can The Adults Please Smoke? Saucy Sixteen- Page 24

[DG]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:34am

"C9 wants to quit baseball because he has been hit a few times. There are only a few games left and I want him to finish what he started. He is crying like a baby to his mother."

Brd – I am going to try desperately to keep my response calm (and as short as I can,) but this hits me on a very emotional level – so if I seem to get carried away, please know it’s more in response to the subject matter, not you in particular.

Quick background – my step-father raised me with one thought in mind: I want to turn you straight by any means possible, and if that can’t be, I’d sooner you were dead. One of his agendas was to force me into little league sports, which I had zero interest in. The last one attempted, when I was 11, was baseball. I moped through the proceedings as best as I could, up til the day I got hit with a hard pitch. I promptly walked off the field and sat in the dugout while the coach, players and all the parents surrounded me screaming their heads off – but I wouldn’t budge.

It was that incident, more than any other, that my therapist had me latch onto when I went through my suicide attempt recovery – it was the clearest and best example that, even as a child surrounded by extreme oppositional forces, I had the internal integrity to know what was best for ME.

NOW, I am NOT saying, “I actually think your son is gay, and you are wrong in your approach because of that fact.” But, there were a couple of things in your statement that really hit me – well, wrong.

Quite honestly, if your son has experienced getting hit by thrown projectiles, and has decided that that is not something he likes, that sounds pretty smart to me – the avoidance of pain is something logical. You say you want him to ‘finish what he started’. To my mind, any endeavor is ‘finished’ when you learn what you needed to – and maybe learning how to decide what works for him and what doesn’t is what he needed. Having discovered that, he IS finished. I would ask if, perhaps, it is YOUR expectations that are the ones not being met.

The other thing is ‘crying like a baby to his mother’. If I understand your terminology for your kids, ‘C9’ means he’s 9 years old. If that’s true, he IS still a ‘baby’ – maybe not as in ‘infant’ terms, but he’s not even a pre-adolescent yet. You’ve come into opposition with what he feels he wants and needs for himself, and he’s turning to the only other source of authority he has – his mother. It just seems that, in your choice of words, there’s a bit of feeling it ‘unseemly’ (or even ‘unmanly’) for him to both cry and seek his mother’s help.

Again, please take this with my good intention – and I would do it privately, but it seems worthy of the community we have established in this thread.

[best12bars]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:47am

Wow, DG.

I think this might be the first time I've poked my head into this thread (and all its sequels) in about six months... because the last time I did, it was anything but "adult conversation" going on here.

But that was a hell of a post. Thanks for sharing it. I'm glad I stumbled in and read it.

[DG]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:53am

Thanks, Besty - but as probably one of the worst generators of non-adult conversation here, I have to say this post is an exception

I would NEVER have done it anywhere BUT here - there's trust amongst us.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:54am

I read your post DG, and based on the background I can 100% agree with what you have said.

That being said, based on the two lines I've read from brd... I've been thinking that I would have trouble with the situation too. To me the question is, what is the bigger lesson? Finish what you've started, or Be strong enough to make your own decisions?

Both are equally valid lessons in my book. I am a big believer that our current society lacks in follow through.

Updated On: 7/21/07 at 11:54 AM

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:56am

I made it through meeting a large number of the adults last night and have lived to tell the tale!!!

[DG]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:07pm

CK!!! I was just talking about you yesterday with a newer poster who wondered if there were other rational conservatives around - you and pap were my recommendations - and here you are! It's very nice to see you around

And honestly, I agree with your perception, as well - although, even with that other consideration, I wouldn't be too hard on him for seeking solace with the other authority figure.

Tink - pretty great people, huh? Some of my faves were there last night - I REALLY wish I could have joined (and I don't even particularly care for GYPSY OR Lupone!)

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:10pm

DG - They were beyond amazing!!! Shameys and I ARE really fraternal twins, it is quite scary! Go read the AV thread to hear the little extra present we all received for the evening! :)

[shameless]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:10pm

Yo, peeps! Just popping in to say hi!

Tink, glad you made it home safe. I'll call you later! No texting!

[ckeaton]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:12pm

I shudder at the mention of the "C" word. I don't want to be in the same room as that word. I used to call myself a fiscal conservative and a social moderate. Now I just call myself "live and let live". :)

It's nice to see you too!

[DG]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:12pm

I just did, Tink - sounds fun! Be careful about mentioning who was there, though - some actually DO prefer to be in charge of whether anyone knows what they do or not

Hi, Shamey!
Updated On: 7/21/07 at 12:12 PM

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:12pm

See! What did I say! scary! I type her name and she shows up!


**big hugs** I'll look forward to your call! :)

[DG]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:15pm

"I used to call myself a fiscal conservative and a social moderate. Now I just call myself "live and let live"."

Me, too! But I like your idea better - start a party, and I'll sign up!

You being here just MIGHT drag a certain pink lady out of hiding

[ckeaton]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 12:16pm

You never know! :)

[Mamie]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 1:43pm

I just want to know one tiny little thing ....

WHERE'S THE DAN MAILMAN WITH MY DAN BOOK, DA IT!

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 2:02pm

Morning/Afternoon Adults.

DG - Amazing post.

[BroadwayBulldog]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 2:13pm

I don't mind saying that I was a part of that same good dinner and theatre party last night. It was my pleasure to meet you Shameless, Motortink and NewPhilosophyGirl. I understand why Boobs speaks highly of each of you.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 3:12pm

There's the bulldog.

[polly2]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 4:13pm

hi folks.

mamie i hate to tell you i got my book at 9 am. i finished it about half an hour ago. you'll love it! that's all i'll say

[Mamie]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 5:31pm

Mine arrived about a half hour after my alter-ego posted that nasty message. (God knows I'd never say anything like that!) I've been reading ever since. This is just a short break to say hi.

Hi.

Bye.

(DG - I love you. That's all.)

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 6:01pm

It was a pleasure meeting and dining with you too, Bulldog!

[shira467]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 7:19pm

Hi guys. I *sniff* wish I could have been there. But I did get a good message from Tink, so I'm okay now!

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 9:41pm

But you never called me back as I was wandering down Broadway at 1am! :)

[soapguy17]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:28pm

Aww, Tink. Did you avoid catching what hubby has?

[MotorTink]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:30pm

Oh no, I eventually suffered through it. Then my Dad came down with it, and now my brother, lol. Damn Buzz!

[shira467]

Posted: 7/21/07 at 11:32pm

Sorry! Sheesh!

*hugs*