Cheech and Chong's "Earache My Eye"

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 7/28/05 at 12:47am

This was my favorite comedy record - anyone else?


My momma talkin' to me tryin' to tell me how to live
But I don't listen to her 'cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me 'cause I wear my sister's clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin' high-heel sneakers and actin' like a queen

The world's comin' to an end, I don't even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don't bother me if people think I'm "funny"
'Cause I'm a big rock star and I'm makin' lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

I'm so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha

I SAID TURN THAT THING DOWN AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!

Hey! What are you trying to do?! You ruined my record man, I just bought it!

I don't care what you just bought! You get your little fanny perpendicular and get ready for school.

I'm not going to school.

What do you mean "you're not going to school"?

Just what I said, I'm not going to school!

And why not?

Because I'm sick, that's why not.

Sick, you're sick alright! What's wrong with you now, Prince Charming?

I got an earache.

An earache my eye! How would you like a butt ache?! Now get your little fanny out of that bed and-and clean up this room, it looks like a pig sty. You hear me?

[Pig snorts]

Alright, that's enough! That's enough! You pushed me far enough, young man, you're getting punished. Now stand up!

NO!

I said stand up!!

AHH!! Let go of my hair man!

Now young man, I have talk to you and talked to you and talked to you 'til I'm blue in the face, and I'm done talking to you!

Good, does that mean you're done spitting on me, too?

SHUT UP! I'm not done talking to you! Now turn around and bend over!

Oh, what are you gonna do, you pervert?

Pervert, why you snotty nose!

OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW!

Oh, shut up! I haven't even touched you yet! NOw I want you to know this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it's gonna hurt me.

*small smack*

Oh wow, that didn't even hurt.

Oh yeah?

*small smack*

Oh wow, what are trying to do, tickle me?

Tickle you? Yeah, I'll tickle you!

*BIG SMACK*

OWW!!!

Oh yeah, is that a tickle, huh? How about another tickle?

*BIG SMACK*

OWW!!!

Come on, laugh it up, funny boy!

*BIG SMACK*

OWW!!! NO MORE, no more, no more!

Alright, are you gonna do what I tell ya?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

Are you gonna talk back to me?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

WHAT?!?!?!?!??!

I mean, NO, NO, NO!

Alright. Now you get your clothes on, and get your little butt ready for school. Right now, do you understand?

Yeah, yeah.

Alright.

[More Music and fades]

Ode REC# 66102 YEAR 1974

Posted: 7/28/05 at 11:04am

Oh yes indeed! Cheech & Chong-- but credited to "Alice Bowie"- the "singer" of the record that gets yanked off by the angry dad before the dialogue starts. I used to crack up every time he said "Ear ache? How would like a Butt ache?"

I also loved "Sister Mary Elephant"- something about that Nun cracked me up.

Sadly, Cheech & Chong have had a falling out and refuse to work together any more. Of course if they did, they'd only make crappy movies and not their brillaintly crafted comedy records.