Condolences

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 9/30/05 at 5:20pm

I just found out that my neighbor died this past weekend. I didn't know him very well, only by passing him on in the neighborhood. I went to school with his younger brother for years. He lived two doors down from my family with his grandmother, a lovely woman that ran an at-home daycare, and I've always said hello and waved when I've passed her, but nothing more.

I would like to send the family something expressing my condolences, but I'm not sure what would be appropriate. My relationship with them is in the "friendly acquiantance" category, but I feel like some Hallmark "Sorry for your loss" greeting card is still too impersonal considering the situation.

Should I send a note? Or should I write a note in a card? I'm really bad about this category of etiquette; I've never even been to a funeral before, but I feel as though I should do something to let them know I'm thinking of them. What would be appropriate?

Updated On: 6/2/08 at 05:20 PM

[katygrace84]

Posted: 9/30/05 at 5:42pm

Speaking as someone who has lost a loved one in a sudden manner, I would just say that the best thing you can do would be to get them a card and write a nice note or story about their loved one in it. At times like those, it's nice to hear those little stories. Even something as small as "He was always so nice when I saw him around the neighborhood" or can really mean a lot to a family that's hurting. And honestly, even just a simple card will let the family know that you're thinking of them. If that still doesn't seem like enough, offer to do something for them to help them through this hard time. Hope this helps.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 9/30/05 at 6:52pm

Thanks, it is a big help. I really wasn't sure what to do since I'm away at school and my friends weren't really any help (like, "Wow, that sucks. I dunno, send a card."). I've never lost anyone like this, so I had no idea what would be meaningful and not redundant.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 9/30/05 at 10:36pm

Any expression of sympathy is always welcomed. You could make a small donation to a Hurricane Relief Charity in this person's name and mention that in the card you've sent. It's a bit more meaningful than flowers.

Still, no matter what you do, the family will greatly appreciate it.