Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/4/07 at 10:35pm

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

Washington, DC (AP) - Congress
today announced that the office of
President of the United States of
America will be outsourced to India
asof July 1, 2007. The move is being
made in order to save the President's
$500,000 yearly salary, and also a
record $521 billion in
deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred
during the last 5 years. "We believe
this is a wise financial move. The cost
savings are huge!" stated the
Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-
WA). "We cannot remain competitive
on the world stage with the current
level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this
morning of his termination. Preparations
for the job move have been underway
for some time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices,
Mumbai, India will assume the office of
President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh
was born in the United States while his
Indian parents were vacationing at
Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible
for the position. He will receive a salary
of $320(USD) a month but with no
health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able
to handle his job responsibilities without
a support staff. Due to the time
differenc ebetween the U.S. and India, he
will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the U.S. Government will
be open. "Working nights will.allow me
to keep my day job at the Dell Computer
call center," stated Mr. Singh in an
exclusive interview. "I am excited about
this position.I always hoped I would be
President." A Congressional
spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh
may not be fully aware of all the issues
involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem, as President
Bush was not familiar with the issues
either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that
will enable him to respond effectively to
most topics of concern. Using these
canned responses, hecan address
common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issue at all.
"We know these scripting tools work,"
stated the.spokesperson. "President Bush
has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage,
expenses, and salary until his final day of
employment. Following a two week
waiting period, he will be.eligible for
$140 a week unemployment for 13
weeks. Unfortunately he will not be
eligible for Medicaid, as his
unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been
provided the outplacement services of
Manpower, Inc. to help him write a
resume and prepare for his upcoming
job transition. According to Manpower,
Mr. Bush may have difficulties in
securing a new position due to limited
practical or successful work experience.
A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was
suggested due to Bush's extensive
experience shaking hands, as well as his
special smile.

[paradox_error]

Posted: 7/4/07 at 11:35pm

LOL!!!!!

A sad reflection on society...and we all know Mr. Singh would do a better job!

(Hi, Elphie...great to see you!)

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/5/07 at 11:00am

Doxie, I think at this point it's agreed that almost anyone could do a bettr job!