Court Room Antics

[NoDayButToday2]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 5:55pm

A friend sent me these as well.. Enjoy


These are Actual things said in U.S. court rooms

1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

2. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
you've forgotten?

3. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

4. Q: What was the first thing your husband said when he woke
that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

5. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

6. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red
and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

7. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

8. Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

9. Q: Did he kill you?

10. Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of
the collision?

11. Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

12. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

13. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

14. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

15. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

16. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

17. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

18. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

19. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?
A: Oral.

20. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy

21. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 5:59pm

and people say lawyers aren't stupid.

[N0tThatGirl213]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 6:00pm

Oh wow...now I'm REALLY mad that I missed Kevin Hill last night cuz of the debate...

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 6:55pm

That was GREAT!

[insomniak]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 7:00pm

<3

[B.B. Wolf]

Posted: 10/14/04 at 7:00pm

High-larious!