Daschel is back

Daschel has returned from working in his voluntary kitchen job at the New Hampshire Home for Mulish Canines. Here is a picture taken during his final Thursday afternoon shift.

http://daschel.photosite.com

Thank you for all for your kind messages concerning Daschel's welfare. He is doing fine and his behavior has improved quite a bit.

You will be happy to know that his cooking skills have improved immensely. I think he is nearly ready for his next survivor challenge, namely, The Mutt Marathon later this month.

I know that you all love Daschel and I am sure you will be willing to send donations for his marathon fund raiser. He is running for the Pooches Against Pornography charity, a worthwhile organization that tries to help down and out doggies break the pooch porn habit and get back to a healthy lifestyle of romping in the park and chasing frisbees.

In December, Dashel's fat rump will be firmly planted in the exit row of an AlItalia flight, on the way to Venice, where he will participate in the Iron Mutt competition. 10 days of canal paddling, turret balance work, piazza scooting and unicycling throughout the Italian countryside, culminating in a wine tasting and Dog Chow Edacious Competition, sponsored by Purina, after which he will head for a well-deserved spa visit. You'll be happy to know, he is getting a new tattoo especially for the occassion. It it is very detailed and it will take us weeks to finish it with all the colors in the diversity spectrum. But I'm sure we will be done in plenty of time for the flight.

If you would like to contribute to this international friendship event, please send your checks to me c/o Daschel's Mutt Werx 111 Radio City Station, NY 10000. All donations are cheerfully accepted.

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Will Daschel be participating in the Dirty Dogs Fantasy Fest to be held in Key West, Florida, during the dog days of August, prior to the Halloween Fantasy Fest?

I am told that after the proliferation of exposed breasts and genitalia at last year's Dirty Dog, there will be stringent requirements regarding the percentage of dog flesh that can be exposed in costumes. I trust Daschel's costume will be created with an eye toward clever concealment.

Perhaps Daschel, with his cooking skills, will man the Cuban fast food stand, too. Molletes? Bollos? Platanos?

Ah, good news on Daschel's welfare, bad news on the whole "pooch porn habit" as I quite enjoyed his early work in 'The Bigger The Biter'....oh well, I guess it's back to 'Inside Cujo' for THIS dog lover!

I am trying to raise the money to send Daschel to the Dirty Dog Fantasy Fest next year but the Iron Mutt competition has cleaned us out. Needless to say, a brave competitor such as Daschel cannot very well ride in steerage and his special pooch travel chair cost me a pretty penny, I'll tell you. If I can get this fundraiser going I will certainly send him down to the Keys.

He loves the weather there and is fond of the Clam Toss and Keg Party the night before the big competition. Though I am ashamed to say that he has, in years past, gone in a scantily clad state, the new rules, coupled with his commitment to protect himself and his fellow canines from the terrible scourge of doggie porn, will certainly drive him toward a more comely form of dress. He is up in the air about the costume but the coin toss is between the French Maid and Eleanor Roosevelt. What do you guys think?

For those of you who have seen Daschel's past porn work I would ask you to be sensitive to his recent conversion. Tough love time at the New Hampshire Home for Mulish Canines has certainly changed this pup. Please send all copies of videos and vivid pictures of past transgressions to me so that I may destroy the evidence. Items I would especially like destroyed are Fur Flix previously as shown at the Metro in 1996, Tail and Pussie from 1997 and Hindquartered from 2000.

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It is my understanding that the following dog porn has been out-of-print, and are rare finds.

The Elements of Doggie Style
Whatever Happened to Puppy Love?
Hush, Hush, Sweet Bitch
Sex and the Single Bitch
Felix and Oscar: The Odd Couple
In The Heat of The Night
Night of The Chihuahuas
The Boxer and I
Lady in the Dark
Plaza Doghouse

Please keep an eye out for any of these in flea market bins. They, in any combination, might make a great holiday gift for Dashel, or your dog.

Updated On: 11/8/05 at 05:51 PM

Ya know, I thought it was odd when I passing through the Lincoln Tunnel this morning and I thought I saw what looked like a pug by one of the token booths, decked out in spandex, nipple clamps with a coin changer attached to his dog collar. I thought I'd imagined it, but perhaps that was just Daschel out on the hunt for wealthy bitches coming in from Jersey ......

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Updated On: 11/19/05 at 02:50 PM

I am told that recently a copy of "A Doghouse Is Not A Home" sold on Ebay for $6,900.

Some of you may recall this was Daschel's first feature film fole. His role as "A John" was small, and his dialogue was limited to two quick, short, barks in between some heavy breathing. The full frontal view of him as he turns to the door when the cops burst in, a mixture of fear and excitement on his face, made an huge impression on critics and fans of the film. Those who have seen the film say that in that moment the surity of his future was evident.


And now Daschel is reduced to walking the Lincoln Tunnel. Terribly sad.

Updated On: 11/21/05 at 09:24 AM

Must be a "Mercury" dime.

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Hi Priest -

Every time I see this thread, I think it is about Tom Daschel!

Then I read puppy porn, and figure it as to be Tom Delay.