#1
Posted: 12/1/07 at 12:51am
I go to a performing arts school and there is a lot of competitiveness and cattyness(spelling?) and pretty much everything you would expect from a large group of theatre majors who spend a LOT of time together. A lot of the alumni of the school leave behind kind of... I guess legacies, as well as the current upperclassmen, of their accomplishments and whatnot. I feel very much like I need to live up to the standard that most of the upperclassmen set as freshman(getting cast/called back/whatever)
I started the year without many expectations because I was a freshman and we all had a clean slate. I didn't feel any pressure because I didn't know much about the school's audition process and I figured that I would just learn from the experience. I guess it turned out well because I was one of the two freshman cast in the first musical of the year.
The show ended and I felt more confident in my abilities and knowledge of the audition process now that I had been cast once. The next auditions came and I expected it to be better than the first with my new knowledge. Well... It wasn't. I crashed and burned. I feel that it was harder on me than it would have been had I not been cast before because I had expectations of myself. It sucked... alot.
In the theatre department at my school, you work your way up to being noticed by the administration by being involved in shows(mostly being cast) as a freshman those not cast are treated...
like freshman. Those who are earn a smidgen of respect, but just a smidgen.
I felt as if I was doing well toward the beginning and was earning some kind of recognition, but after the bad audition it feels kind of like I dropped down a few rungs on the ladder of "matteringness"(yup matteringness) I now have to work hard to try to climb back up.
It's all so much harder than it looks from the outside, but I love the rush I get when I perform and It all feels like it's worth it to get the chance to grow as much as they say I should.
Anyone else ever had a similar experience?
Questions...Comments...Epiphanies?
HELP?
I started the year without many expectations because I was a freshman and we all had a clean slate. I didn't feel any pressure because I didn't know much about the school's audition process and I figured that I would just learn from the experience. I guess it turned out well because I was one of the two freshman cast in the first musical of the year.
The show ended and I felt more confident in my abilities and knowledge of the audition process now that I had been cast once. The next auditions came and I expected it to be better than the first with my new knowledge. Well... It wasn't. I crashed and burned. I feel that it was harder on me than it would have been had I not been cast before because I had expectations of myself. It sucked... alot.
In the theatre department at my school, you work your way up to being noticed by the administration by being involved in shows(mostly being cast) as a freshman those not cast are treated...
like freshman. Those who are earn a smidgen of respect, but just a smidgen.
I felt as if I was doing well toward the beginning and was earning some kind of recognition, but after the bad audition it feels kind of like I dropped down a few rungs on the ladder of "matteringness"(yup matteringness) I now have to work hard to try to climb back up.
It's all so much harder than it looks from the outside, but I love the rush I get when I perform and It all feels like it's worth it to get the chance to grow as much as they say I should.
Anyone else ever had a similar experience?
Questions...Comments...Epiphanies?
HELP?
No one wants to see a musical called Thoroughly Modern Mildred.
