FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
#0FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
Posted: 3/5/05 at 12:37am
I hope we don't have to explain Paul Rudnick to anyone on this board--especially you, Goth!
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http://www.newyorker.com/shouts/content/
FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
by PAUL RUDNICK
Issue of 2005-03-07
Posted 2005-02-28
The first draft of the Gettysburg Address began, “Four score and seven years ago-ish . . .”
When Lincoln was a boy, he would walk twenty miles through the snow every morning to buy magazines.
Lincoln was raised in a log cabin with a dirt floor, which he vacuumed.
Lincoln liked to say, “All men are created equal, except at the beach.”
Lincoln’s greatest regret was the movie version of “Phantom.”
Lincoln named his horse Mister Horse.
Lincoln wanted to call it “The Emancipation Proclamation—The New Sensation!”
Lincoln urged Congress to bind the nation’s wounds “with malice toward none, with charity for all,” although under his breath he murmured, “except for a certain red-headed lieutenant, and he knows why.”
As a young country lawyer, Lincoln often bartered his services for house seats.
For more than four years during his twenties, Lincoln shared a bed with his friend Joshua Fry Speed. It is now believed that he loved Joshua Fry Speed for his winning personality, and not because his name sounds like a George Foreman product.
The friendship finally ended when Speed told Lincoln, “You’re not the President of me!”
Another friend, Billy Greene, said that Lincoln’s thighs were “as perfect as a human being’s could be.” Lincoln was said to have responded, “It’s called Pilates.”
Lincoln was known as the Rail-Splitter. Few people realize that this was a cocktail.
When Lincoln was told that Lee had surrendered, he gasped and exclaimed, “Oh no she didn’t!”
Just before his first inauguration, he told Mary Todd Lincoln to go home and take one thing off.
Lincoln grew his beard because he thought it looked hot on Ethan Hawke.
Upon entering Ford’s Theatre on that fateful night, Lincoln whispered to his wife, “I hear it’s slow.”
MasterLcZ
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/12/03
#2re: FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
Posted: 3/5/05 at 10:03amRudnick does these every so often. Once (many years ago) when it looked like the Boy Scouts were "going gay", he decreed that the new Boy Scout oath - in addition to "A Scout is brave" and "reverent" -would include the words "lithe", "ruddy" and "scrumptuous".
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#3re: FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
Posted: 3/5/05 at 10:10am
I thought he was Jewish since he was shot in the temple
Henny Youngman 1940 . Ba da bing . Take my wife please.
#4re: FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
Posted: 3/5/05 at 12:02pmwell, as Chris Rock would tell us, how many straight men really want to go to the theater?????????
TxTwoStep
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/24/03
#5re: FURTHER PROOF THAT LINCOLN WAS GAY
Posted: 3/5/05 at 12:10pm
i worship Rudnick as an essayist, not so much as a dramatist, though i loved VALHALLA.
The first thing i turn in PREMIERE is Libby.
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