Falling in love with your best friend

[musicalsaregreat]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 2:30am

What do you do when you fall in love with your best friend and they are already in a relationship? How do you keep the friendship, but move on? Any suggestions?

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 2:36am

I am in this situation now and my only advice is to take it a day at a time.

But make sure you do NOT let them EVER tell you about their sexual escapades with their significant other because those images will be in your head and they will stick and they will hurt. If they begin talking about it, cut them off or just say "That's really between you two" or something. Never ever ever let them talk about it in front of you. Leave the room if you have to. I'm serious. It will hurt you.

[musicalsaregreat]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 2:38am

I just can't seem to distract myself and I have trouble sleeping at night right now.

[musicalsaregreat]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 2:39am

double post Updated On: 6/30/06 at 02:39 AM

[StageManager2]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 2:41am

You drown your sorrows with self-pity show tunes such as "On My Own," "There's A Fine, Fine Line," "I Don't Know How to Love Him," etc. This is how I deal, anyway. I understand where you're coming from because I have fallen for many a straight male friend. (Not to imply that you're gay, but I'm homosexual and a lot of my crushes have been on male friends.) To paraphrase B.B. King, if the arrows from Cupid's bow that had passed through my heart had been sticking out of my body, I'd look like a porcupine. There really isn't much you can do at this point, since he's already in a relationship.

Updated On: 6/30/06 at 02:41 AM

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 3:06am

in my case, at least, i just felt happy that they had found bliss in any case. i always tried to put her above my own needs...

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 4:02am

Her?

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 4:06am

What if your best friend is a pet? Does it get tricky?

[hannahshule]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 8:33am

That depends if thet're already in a relationship with another pet.

[Katecab99]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:36am

"You drown your sorrows with self-pity show tunes such as "On My Own," "There's A Fine, Fine Line," "I Don't Know How to Love Him," etc. This is how I deal, anyway."

that's too funny...because it's true!

with the whole best friend thing...my advice is to RUN AWAY. i've been there, ended up getting into the relationship and ruining the friendship.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:43am

I DID fall in love with my best friend. And we had 5 perfect years together.

But, falling in love with someone who is unavailable can be the worst type of pain. Make plans with other friends, and fill your time with productive activities. Force yourself to find your way back to the way you felt about your friend before the romantic complications.

And, just give yourself time.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:46am

Add this song to your list:

Before I gaze at you again
I'll need a time for tears.
Before I gaze at you again
Let hours turn to years.

I have so much forgetting to do
Before I try to gaze again at you.

Stay away until you cross my mind
Barely once a day.
Stay away until I wake and find
That I can smile and say:

That I shall gaze at you again
Without a blush or qualm.
My eyes will shine like new again,
My manner poised and calm.

No sign of fear,
Not even a sigh.
And so till when
We meet again, Goodbye!

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:47am

can I ask how old you are? I am assuming very young. Trust me, it will get better. Friends are MUCH more important than lovers. Lovers come and go, but friends are always there.

If you are older, I would say you should know better.

Most confuse love with infatuation.....

Updated On: 6/30/06 at 09:47 AM

[RobbO]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:50am

no, i love colin farrell, but i am infatuated with jake gyllenhaal.

[Craig]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:53am

Keep him away from Natalie Portman for me then please :)

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:56am

I met one of my closest friends and she was already married. We fell in love and had a relationship that her husband knew about for 3 years. He was very patient and understanding about how she felt. The truth of the matter was that we were both in a pretty hardcore depression and just needed each other. We both knew it couldn't last and in order to remain in each other's lives everything would have to change. We became best friends. Through all the crap, her marriage got stronger. Now, I live much closer to her than I did when we were together. Her husband trusts us completely. I have no idea why...lol. So, now I am still emotionally in love with her, but I know that in order to have her in my life, it can never be like that again. Now every once in a while, we will be talking about something and the relationship will come up and we will both say, "But we don't talk about that!" and both crack up.

Sometimes you just have to weigh the pros and cons and find out that you are better off being friends.

Updated On: 6/30/06 at 09:56 AM

[NYadgal]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 9:57am

"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
-- La Rochefoucauld

[cpnchicago]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 10:17am

I agree with the person who said not to let them tell you too much about their relationship. Just stick with the part that made you friends in the first place. I was good friends with my husband for three years and he had several girlfriends during that time. It was during his last relationship that I realized my feelings for him. But I didn't change the way I acted around him, and I continued to date, not knowing where his relationship was leading. When they broke up, he asked me out three weeks later and now we're married. So there is sometimes a happy ending to this story!

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/30/06 at 10:30am

Addy, that's my fav song from Camelot!

Updated On: 6/30/06 at 10:30 AM