Funny Local News Stories

[bwayaddict]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 10:09am

Saw this headline in our local paper the other day and thought it was hilarious. Any other funny headlines with stories out there. I'm tired of reading only depressing news stories.

'Man' Stabs Mom, Assaults Another Woman with Chicken

Police said an Ypsilanti man is accused of stabbing his mother with a fork and hitting another woman over the head with a frozen chicken.

Frederick McKaney, 40, was arraigned in a Jackson courtroom on Thursday on two felony assault charges, one count of assault and battery and one count of resisting an officer.”He stabbed his mother in the back of the neck when she refused to give him money, and then, an hour later, he attacked a neighbor woman with a chicken,” Jackson County Chief Assistant Prosecutor Mark Blumer told the Ann Arbor news.

Police said McKaney went to his mother’s house and demanded money. When she refused, he stabbed her and took off on his bicycle, police said.A short time later, he encountered two other women talking on the sidewalk on Woodbridge Street.The woman said he said something nasty to them and hit one of them over the head with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.The woman went to the hospital and got stitches in her head.McKaney’s mother suffered minor injuries from the stabbing.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 10:39am

" A man was charged with battery after he hit his mother in the head with a three-pound package of Polish sausage, police said."

[Marianne2]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 1:37pm

I don't remember the headline, but on Sunday in the paper, some guy got arrested in my area for breaking into someone's apartment drunk and stealing a box of macaroni and cheese and a Winnie the Pooh toy. I believe the guy's lawyer is trying to get him off because he was drunk.

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 1:41pm

a co-worker was telling me that when he worked as an EMT of sorts in Jersey in the 50s/60s, they got this call about a traffic accident, and when they arrived they saw the bodies covered in yellow sheets, and the cop was laughing.

Apparently, they were in a VW bug, and the front tire popped and they made an immediate turn into a guard rail. They got out of the car to dust themselves off, and were struck by a truck. They got up again (not as easily I would assume) and were mostly fine. Until the bus hit them.

[nmartin]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 1:43pm

I don't live in CA, but this is too good not to post.
I'll take a six pack.

[heathurrr]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 1:49pm

A dog from my hometown won a "most cloneworthy dog" contest.
What a strange contest.
http://www.thechronicleherald.ca/Metro/1065214.html

[SNAFU]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 4:18pm

I would hope they would want to clone him without the "degenerative Neurological disorder".

[singingwendy]

Posted: 7/2/08 at 5:51pm

Couple in hot water for candid camera work
Steel's blast furnaces used as backdrop for nude photo shoot in Bethlehem, police say.

By Pamela Lehman | Of The Morning Call
July 1, 2008
Bethlehem police officer Scott Meixel, on the prowl for copper thieves Sunday afternoon near the Minsi Trail Bridge, did a double-take when he saw a flash of flesh along the banks of the Lehigh River.

He wound his way down an access road and there, with the world-famous Bethlehem Steel blast furnaces as a backdrop, were a nude woman and a man, fully clothed, with a camera.

'Yeah, you're not expecting to see a nude lady in the middle of the afternoon by the river,' a somewhat sheepish Meixel explained Monday. 'I was kind of surprised.'

Police said when they asked what the couple were doing, the two explained they were taking 'artistic' nude photos of the woman and wanted the hulking blast furnaces in the shots.



Well, art is in the eye of the beholder and Gloria Pushman, 56, of Washington Crossing, Bucks County, and Barry Wayne Myers, 56, of Brookhaven, Delaware County, have both been charged with disorderly conduct.

Neither could be reached for comment about their artistic intentions.

Meixel said he was patrolling the area about 4:30 p.m. to investigate copper thefts and, as he crossed over the bridge and down a nearby access road, spotted Pushman posing nude by the river.

He said Myers was using a digital camera to take both still photos and video. Police did not confiscate the camera.

Officer Tim Cooper said police were patrolling the area to investigate copper thefts from industrial sites along the Lehigh.

Bicyclists and hikers were spotted on the towpath around 4:30 p.m., and just minutes before the photo shoot was uncovered, boys were fishing right near that spot. Meixel said he did a double-take when he saw the boys had been replaced by the au naturel photo shoot.

Olaf Starorypinski, an Emmaus photographer who has done shoots of models with Bethlehem Steel as the backdrop, understands the allure of the site. He said artists want to capture the mighty industrial artifacts of the historic Bethlehem Steel mill and pair it with a softer image.

'I can totally see the appeal of wanting to be there, because the spaces are so huge and gigantic,' said Starorypinski, who has a studio at the Banana Factory overlooking the Steel site. 'It's a strong contrast to have a model in those spaces.'

Starorypinski was not aware of the charges against Pushman and Myers, but said he thinks society should relax its hang-ups about nudity.

'There are a huge percentage of people who can't designate the difference between nudity and sex,' he said. 'It's really strange to me because the very earliest forms of art depict the beauty of the human body.'