Holiday Eating Tips

[joeyjoe]

Holiday Eating Tips#0

Posted: 12/17/04 at 4:12pm

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

[LittleFish8386]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#1

Posted: 12/17/04 at 4:18pm

Ain't it the truth!

[OneBlazeOfGlory]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#2

Posted: 12/17/04 at 4:21pm

Haha sounds good to me! Alas I'm afriad I do have to work out though... I'm required to for track

Ah well. I'll just eat more to make up for it

Here in this cold white room tied up to these machines, it's hard to imagine life as it used to be. Laughing, screaming, tumbling queen... Like the most amazing light show you've ever seen. Whirling, swirling, never blue... How could you go and die? What a selfish thing to do... RIP Jason

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#3

Posted: 12/17/04 at 4:23pm

I agree with this posting. I come from the school of thought that believes carrot cake is a vegetable and jelly beans are legumes. Both of which are very healthy.

"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

[jacobtsf]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#4

Posted: 12/17/04 at 5:58pm

Great tips.

David walked into the valley With a stone clutched in his hand He was only a boy But he knew someone must take a stand There will always be a valley Always mountains one must scale There will always be perilous waters Which someone must sail -Into the Fire Scarlet Pimpernel

[Taryn]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#5

Posted: 12/17/04 at 6:00pm

HAH! Awesome. XD

[Kelly]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#6

Posted: 12/17/04 at 6:14pm

HEY!!

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?boardname=off&thread=600695#600695

Hmph.

Perfect love, perfect sin...there is no perfect anything.

[Charactress!]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#7

Posted: 12/17/04 at 6:15pm

hahah LOVE. IT. if only it wouldn't add a few roles

[sabrelady]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#8

Posted: 12/17/04 at 6:24pm

Ba Bump!

[Kristin]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#9

Posted: 12/17/04 at 7:04pm

Is it a bad sign that I do this even when it isn't the Holiday Season?

Though it may not be anyone's birthday, And though it's far from the first of the year, I know that this very minute has history in it, we're here!

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

re: Holiday Eating Tips#10

Posted: 12/17/04 at 7:17pm

Happy Hollandaise!

"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.