I Am George W. Bush

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 10:57pm

I Am George W. Bush. I am a Conservative Republican who believes in fiscal responsibility and limited government.

My administration inherited a budget surplus and a growing economy. In 3 years, I have spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury. My administration holds the record for the largest annual deficit in history.

We also set the record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period; watched as more than 2 million Americans lost their jobs in our first 2 years and then cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other administration in history; and, presided over the most foreclosures in any 12 month period in our history

I am a born-again Christian, but I do not attend any religious services nor do I have a member of the clergy come to the White House to perform religious services.

I am anti-abortion, but my former girlfriend got pregnant and we made sure she could get one.

I did not go to Vietnam. Instead, I used my father’s political influence to join the National Guard where I went AWOL to help on one of my father’s friends’ political campaigns. I received no medals or ribbons, nor did we win the election I worked on.

I am for law and order and I’m tough on crime. I am also the only President to enter office with a criminal record for driving under the influence. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any other president and I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I support our military personnel but I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans and I will not sign an executive order giving health benefits to National Reservists or their families who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I attacked and took over 2 countries. I withdrew the United States from the World Court of Law (which the US created) and refused to allow UN elections inspectors to monitor the 2002 US elections. I also refused to allow international inspectors access to POW’s in Iraq, thus negating the Geneva Conventions (which the US created). I have dissolved more international treaties than any other president.

I am a working president. In my first year, I took more vacation days than any other president. After taking off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in US history. I have taken more campaign fund-raising trips than any other president. I have had the least amount of press conferences than any other president since the advent of television.

I believe in the Constitution of the United States and the freedoms it guarantees our citizens. My administration is the most secretive in US history and I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president.

My number one goal is to stop terrorism and make sure something like 9-11 never happens again in the US. We have not captured Osama bin-Laden; we have not found the “anthrax” killer who sent poison into Capitol Hill; my Justice Department has made 5,000 “terrorist” arrests—but has not secured even one conviction.

I do not read any daily newspapers and have never written a book. Prior to becoming President, I ran for Congress and lost; produced a slasher movie; ran an oil company into bankruptcy; used tax-payer money to negotiate a deal that made me owner of the Texas Rangers (I sold Sammy Sosa to the White Sox); and, then used my father’s name and friends to become Governor of Texas where I bankrupted the treasury and presided over the most executions of any Governor in US history.

I am George W. Bush and I want to continue to be your president.

[CurtainUp2]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:10pm

Thanks PalJoey. I think I'll send this to everyone I know. Have you ever seen Bush's resume? It was making the rounds a few months ago. That's a good one too.

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:11pm

both of your are enemies of America and deserve to...

[insomniak]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:12pm

Save the enviroment. Plant two bushes back in Texas.

[Plum]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:13pm

No, I think narrow-minded people are the enemies of America. This is a country founded on pluralism. Deal with it.

[ShbrtAlley44]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:14pm

*standing ovation for PalJoey*

[sweetiedarlinmia]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:16pm

LOVE IT. Must circulate!

Oh, and Rodney, your brand of debate is getting kinda old.

[NoDayButToday2]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:17pm

"Save the enviroment. Plant two bushes back in Texas."


Oh please don't send them back here! He screwed up enough being Governor! The shame of him once living in TX is enough isn't it???

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:24pm

Thank you, Curtain, Shbrt and Sweetie. Keep fighting the good fight.

And Rodney, I have only one thing to say to you:

I honor your service.

[EponineThenardier]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:48pm

Go the f**k back to Texas arse hole..... :)

Nothing against Texas, just Bush Updated On: 9/29/04 at 11:48 PM

[CJR]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:49pm

*nods*

Good to know

*rolls eyes*

[BroadwayMonkey]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:49pm

PalJoey- Where did you get that? That's awesome!

[insomniak]

Posted: 9/29/04 at 11:55pm

Sorry, Noday! We will send them to alaska instead, since all the oil drilling is killing the forest and shrubbery is needed.

[Kristie-K2]

Posted: 9/30/04 at 2:25pm

Very Interesting....I must copy this

[musicalfandukie]

Posted: 9/30/04 at 2:39pm

that convinced me! my vote is going for bush now for sure!!! Updated On: 9/30/04 at 02:39 PM