I Have a Drinking Problem...

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 12:58am

No, not in the way you would think. I have a problem with the actual "drinking" part of the equation. This is the conclusion I came to tonight.

I was on a stationary bike just half an hour ago when I took a swig of my trusty Bottled Water. Sadly, it is my inclination towards drinking the sweet sweet watery core of the bottle in a possibly lethal way (I hold the bottle to my mouth, squeeze as hard as i can, and let the water shoot down my throat. Yes I am aware of the sexual metaphors of the previous sentence.) instead of drinking normally that I choked. I choked on bottled water. I lay gasping at the floor cursing myself for allowing my own demise to be pretty much my own doing. My own mortal coil being shuffled off like a hula hoop.

Fortunately, I survived the incident by vomiting out all of the water that had been illegally attempting to broach the fence towards my stomach and I am still alive for at least a little while longer.

So yes, my drinking problem nearly led to death tonight. And I'm on the road to recovery.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:03am

From now on, it's short, intermittent sips, m' boy!

[ahmelie]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:09am

Wow. This is my new favourite Cruel thread.

I mean, holy SH*T.

[Raviolisun]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:19am

Oh my God. Only you....

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:21am

This kid...!

[scott68]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:24am

Wow. For better or worse, you truly are the Cosmo Kramer of BroadwayWorld.

[Mythus]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:33am

I could totally see this as the latest entry on the Livejournal that you need, Cruel.

[Ivan the Wonderful]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 1:34am

Is this part of the movie you are writing?

[Jellylorum]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 2:58am

What the hell?

Were you drunk when you posted this?

[ShbrtAlley44]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 3:05am

Sigh.

[Greekmusicalfan]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 3:14am

Cruel, buddy, you need professional help. Seriously !

[DG]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 3:40am

You know what? I would sooner read whatever brain-farts this young man comes up with than MUCH of what passes here.

I'm more curious about what he might come up with next than reading the billionth variation of 'Rath is insane, and I'm here to make sure everyone knows it' or 'HD is intolerable, but my umpteenth post pointing that out is of vital importance'.

Personally, I think there's nothing all that extraordinary to Cruel - at least, nothing all that different from other young people trying to find their way. He's discovered an outlet for his ramblings, which most of us just kept inside our own heads.

He'll probably end up being all the healthier simply because he found a way to let it out - and lucky us, we get to watch - for free.

[Weez]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 5:43am

I second the notion that Cruel needs a LiveJournal. They're ideal for anyone who feels the need to spew self-indulgent nonsense all over the internet. Mine's in constant use. ^_^

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 5:44am

That's a life changing story, Cruel. I'm ready to be responsible with my water sipping now. Thank you.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 6:43am

CBS Cares...

:: twinkling star floating by ::

[mominator]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 7:40am

So no need of an intervention?

[artscallion]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 8:18am

"So no need of an intervention?"


I think we should do one anyway, just for the practice.

[Mamie]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 8:18am

I had a similar incident - but with a much funnier ending. I had forgotten to put the water bottle on the treadmill holder but I thought that I could carefully reach over and grab the bottle from the top of the desk without stopping the treadmill. And it worked! My hand wrapped around the bottle and I took a big drink..... of peroxide. (I'd forgotten that I'd taken it out to dab a scratch earlier). I definitely stopped the treadmill then and read all the poison warnings on the back of the bottle - most of which said to immediately contact the poison center. I did. I was told to drink a large glass of milk - which I didn't have. So they said, 'well - try drinking a lot of water'. (That's how I got in this trouble to begin with!) They said if I felt a lot of pain or nausea, to call an ambulance right away. Otherwise - just wait it out and expect a really, REALLY big belch.

(I didn't have to call the ambulance.)

[StageManager2]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 8:26am

That's hilarious, Mamie! Reminds me of when my dad frantically called the poison control center after he thought a mercury thermometer broke in my mouth. At least that's what I'd told him. In actuality, I wanted to stay home from school and held it to the light (a bit too long, apparently) and it shattered. It took me a while, but I finally convinced him that no mercury got in my mouth.

[polly2]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 8:42am

i'd have freaked out too stagey. i think thats one (very good) reason that electronic thermometers are so popular.

[best12bars]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 8:49am

Maybe Cruel will wake up this morning and discover he has eyelids.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 12:33pm

I don't have a problem with CS playing around in whatever manner he chooses, but considering the fact that there are several people who post here on a regular basis who DO have a serious drinking problem I find this particular thread to be in just a little poor taste.

[RobbO]

Posted: 7/20/07 at 2:11pm

mamie, you should take your act on the road!

no worries, sister sueleen, those people are likely passed out by now.