#1
Posted: 11/17/04 at 9:07am
Subject: California's secession letter to Bush
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us
non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off
here in California, so we're leaving you. California
will now be its own country. And we're taking all the
Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that
includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East
States, and the urban half of Ohio.
We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will
be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to
us in the new country of California. In fact, God is
so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please
let everyone know they need to be back in their states
by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and
Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego.
(Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting
you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie
Chicks).
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be
pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking
of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in
Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have
tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths
for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming
home.
So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and
we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We
would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands,
though. She IS from the south, right?)
Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with
your own late night TV shows because we get MTV,
Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You
get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News
to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you
should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny
show.)
We wish you all the best in the next four years and we
hope, really hope,you find those missing weapons of
mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us
non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off
here in California, so we're leaving you. California
will now be its own country. And we're taking all the
Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that
includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East
States, and the urban half of Ohio.
We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will
be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to
us in the new country of California. In fact, God is
so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please
let everyone know they need to be back in their states
by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and
Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego.
(Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting
you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie
Chicks).
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be
pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking
of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in
Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have
tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths
for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming
home.
So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and
we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We
would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands,
though. She IS from the south, right?)
Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with
your own late night TV shows because we get MTV,
Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You
get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News
to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you
should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny
show.)
We wish you all the best in the next four years and we
hope, really hope,you find those missing weapons of
mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
"I don't really get the ending,all i can go with is when after several months,Judith saw Pat sang,and later she kissed him on the toilet,after that the story back to where Pat went down from the stage after he'd sung,and he went to the italian lady.I just don't get it,what Judith exatcly meant when he kissed Pat that she had seen,and did Pat end up together with The Italian Lady?Please help me,thank u very much!"
Quote from someone on IMDB in reference to a movie he/she didn't understand. Such grammar!
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