I need some psychology help...(with my age)
I need some psychology help...(with my age)
#0I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:38pmI often find that I forget how old I am. People say that I'm mature for my age, which can sometimes be good, but lately, it's bugging me...I find myself worrying about college, worrying about things financially, and frankly, it's been losing me some sleep. Maybe I grew up too fast? I don't know. Any thoughts?
Plum
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/4/04
#1re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:42pm
You're just neurotic. Join the club. :P
Seriously, though, try not to lose sleep over things unless you're in an emergency situation. Worrying does nothing except perpetuate itself.
Updated On: 7/23/05 at 09:42 PM
#2re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:43pm
Neurotic, paranoid, anxious. Little things like that. 
#3re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:43pmI gave up analyzing myself years ago...There will never be a definitive answer...
#4re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:47pmAigoo, I'm like that too. Don't worry. For example, I already have abotu five possible career choices for myself and I've decided what colleges I'm applying to and I'm onyl 14. And yeah, I worry about my dad's business a lot and my family's financial situation.
#5re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:53pmIt's not just my dad's company, but my own, getting my own money, getting students. My head is about to EXPLODE from high school scheduling things, and the hot weather will NOT let up so I can't go out and exercise all this energy I have.
#6re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 9:57pm
Aigoo, part of it is the times.......kids now, in my opinion, are forced to grow-up faster....things seem too important too soon.
Plum gave good advice....worrying does nothing, things are exactly as they will be whether you worry or not. Too often we worry about things over which we have no control.......or the few times we do have control over them, we worry rather than do what needs to be done.
relax......things work out as they should
#7re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:02pm
That's what people tell me. And I do believe that, but I don't want to...because that leads me to the point where I can do absolutely nothing and things will just fan out "as planned". But I suppose I could do with worrying less. 
Plum
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/4/04
#8re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:06pmWhen I worry, I research. But even though I was probably the first middle schooler to get an antacid prescription due to stress-induced stomacheaches, I don't lose sleep over long-term anxieties like money. As someone or other said, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
#9re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:09pmActually, last year I started to get tension headaches. When I was in 7th grade! And I always have trouble sleepign because I'm extremely paranoid and I'm always afraid someone's goign to break in.
#10re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:11pm
I used to be like that. But then I started to accept the fact that I live in the suburbs and there are no burglars here.
Plum, that's a great statement to go by. I think I may make that my new mantra. I research when I worry too. Sort of. I usually take it out on my violin or bang on my piano for a bit, but I eventually settle down. Then I start to think about things...one things leads to another and I'm back where I started.
#11re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:18pmI know I live in the suburbs. I live in a little culdesac in one of the safest suburbs in the country. Which is why it's completely illogical for me to be so stressed about burglars.
LoudIrishGirl
Broadway Star Joined: 1/6/05
#12re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 10:29pmYah, no I definitly had those issues when I was younger (burgler etc.). I KINDA got over them, but in about 3-4 weeks I'm moving down to the ghetto for college. Yah. I'm a little worried about that. Old issues are resurfacing...lol.
#13re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:02pm
Here is where Plum got that quote from. It's the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
#14re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:11pm
I'm still afraid of burglars.
Aigoo, I was a worrier (and still am to an extent) when I was fourteen. I worried myself so I would cry every night, I got stomach cramps, and I had a fever that lasted a week. I worried about everything. Death, grades, college, boys, parents, etc. I even developed a slight case of hypochondria where I thought I had some sort of infection. Its just mind over matter and I realize that now.
There is no sense in worrying every night in bed when it is three in the morning. What can you do about finances when its that late? There will always be people who care about you who will help you out when you are not sure about things. This doesn't mean get careless. Just do whatever is in your immediate power to make yourself feel better. If you worry about college, look into what you are looking for in one. When school starts up keep up with your grades and activities so you can get scholarships. The little things help out a lot.
#15re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:18pm
I forget my age too.
And my name.
And my phone number.
And my address.
And birthday.
And...what I am doing here.
#16re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:33pmYou were here to give me all your money The Nard...
#17re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:35pm
What money?
I'm broke!
#18re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:38pm
MFL- I do that too.... I have a whole list of colleges I plan on trying out for...
Aigoo, I know what you mean. While I don't lose sleep over it (because I don't sleep at all....stupid drinks) I'm constantly alert on auditions, rehearsal scheduals, and once school year starts i'm gonna have to pay for my own voice lessons since I certainly don't want to stop them, so I'm adding on an extra hour to the horse barn I work at for money and stuff...
My age I never forget, although my teachers do..... I remember this one time in guidance class, we were talking about anorexia and the pressure to be thin and the pressure about what your friends thought about you and I couldn't relate to anything of what they were saying. I was saying stuff like "if you want to lose weight,there's a healthy way", "if they were really your friends you shouldnt be so focused on the whole ordeal"..stuff like that so my teacher had to take me aside and told me while it was good i didnt have these kinds of worries, I should lay off the other middle/high schoolers. Well SORRY.
but seriously try not to lose sleep over it all, I totally understand where you're coming from though
#19re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/23/05 at 11:39pmPfft, can't remember your name but know exactly whats in your bank account, a likely story...
wickedrentq
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/6/04
#20re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/24/05 at 1:46am
Alright adding in my two cents from my own experiences, textbooks, being a psych major, and that I especially wanna be an adolescent psychologist and give my friends psychological advice and get yelled at for it when it's unwanted, so sorry if I start to sound all therapisty when I respond but I tend to do stuff like this a lot, take out of my advice whatever you want.
The first thing you have to do is to not be mad at yourself for worrying. Sure it's easy to say just don't worry but from my own experience I know it is very difficult to simply turn your mind off. Regardless of anything else, you should feel a bit more happier and at ease realizing that it is perfectly okay for you to worry and that at this time it's pretty normal(though normal doesn't really exist..) and there's really no need to start analyzing whether the worrying is appopriate for your age...I started thinking too much which lead me to depressing thoughts about time moving too quickly when I was 8!
Someone gave great advice in essentially saying doing stuff about things is better than worrying. This is essentially reflection vs. rumination, or good worrying vs. bad worrying. In reflection, we worry about...perhaps weight, and when we feel we're too heavy, we start losing weight, so it is good to worry because we do something so we don't have to worry anymore. However, if we started worrying about height, worrying about how short we were, that would be rumination--worrying with no purpose because there really isn't much you can do about. Especially since you seem to have different things you worry about, if you think there's one you may be able to do something about or do things to help you not worry, perhaps you can start focusing on that worry more than the others.
The sleep thing obviously is bad, since I find the less sleep I get, the more agitated/paranoid/worried I become, so if you're getting less sleep because you're worrying, that'll make you worry more, and then you'll get less sleep, etc. Again, night was my big worry time too. The best thing I can suggest is trying to control your mind most when you go to sleep. There are different things you can try. If you have something that you love so much that it can completely overtake you or clear your mind, such as perhaps your violin or a particular broadway CD...whenever I play my clarinet and pit music, I enter that state and every worry is gone. Of course my mind isn't completely free but perhaps if you do something like this right before you go to sleep, you're still sort of in that blank state and combine that with being tired and it may really help.
If this is really getting to you, there are certainly more techniques you can use in both nighttime and daytime to help control your thoughts. For sleep especially, there's lots of breathing exercises and meditation you can do, again to bring you into a more blanker state so sleep is easier.
You can always PM me if you're interested in some of those meditation like exercises or more ways of controlling your mind, though it will involve lots of effort and fighting on your part.
I say if you even accomplish the first step of accepting your worry is great. Combine that with doing stuff about what you can and having little saviors that free your mind and then just accept you're an adolescent and it is quite understandable to have a lot on your mind. I wouldn't say age even has so much to do with it as does life experiences and personality.
Good luck!
#21re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/24/05 at 12:41pmSally-one of my friends did something like your teacher, but in a nicer way. I was talking to ehr about high school and in the middle of the conversation she was just like, "Bernie, you have no problems because you already seem to know what's coming and you've found yourself." I actually found it flattering. And yeah, just random thought-I officially hate fast days. I broke my fast but I still feel awful.
#22re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/24/05 at 4:00pmThanks WRQ. That helped a lot...
#23re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/24/05 at 5:14pm
MFL- yeah stuff like that happens to me too. Then of course there are girls who I talk to who's main focus is getting a boyfriend, and these people are just extremely over-dramatic, and they just have worries that make NO sense to me at all. It's frustrating sometimes when they ask "God why are you always in your music or your books, don't you have friends...and what's up with all these Broadway shirts? Let's get you some DELIAS!". For the record, I socialize a LOT and I do have very good friends...... and I have no problem with Delia's but for some reason since I don't complain about the amount of homework, or rehearsal schedules for the school play, or which guy thinks which girl is fat, I'm some sort of snotty freak.
ANYHOO
Aigoo I hope you feel better. And wooooah Wickedrentq! gerry must be proud!
#24re: I need some psychology help...(with my age)
Posted: 7/24/05 at 5:26pm
Aigoo, we are, in many ways, forced to grow up way too fast. I am one of those people who went from 13 to 35 (and I'm 20 now). I'm only now beginning to TRY and relax and have fun. For years, I've been focused on my weight, my grades, college, what jobs I can and can't get, what I need to do to accomplish SOMETHING in my life...
I'm often stressed and worried that I have achieved nothing in my life thus far - but I'm 20, I have a while to go.
Life is full of worrisome things, but we are children, and thus we have parents to worry about the big things and protect us so that we can enjoy the trivial things that make like fun.
Don't worry, be happy!
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