Inception

I just found this on AICN:

"Thus far, all we know about Christopher Nolan's INCEPTION is that it is a contemporary science-fiction thriller "set inside the architecture of the mind." This might be frustratingly vague for some, but it's good enough for me. All I need to know is that one of the world's most talented filmmakers is hard at work shooting a brainy sci-fi flick on a $200 million budget with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy (about to blow you away in BRONSON), Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine and the criminally underappreciated Tom Berenger. That's a murderer's row of acting talent right there."

I'm now wetting myself in anticipation. Unfortunately it doesn't open until next July.

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It's about shifting gravity and DiCaprio looking worried, apparently. Or maybe a new prequel series!

The Matrix: Re-Bloated

After a viewing of Royal Wedding, our hero, The Square Root of Negative One, learned how to manipulate gravity by tap-dancing on the ceiling of his hotel room and unlocks the secrets behind the world's most corrupt secret government, all of whose agents speak English with American accents, which is entirely coincidental. After a bad cold, The Square Root of Negative One is suddenly unrecognizable due to acute laryngitis. He cannot even recognize himself, so he is forced to remind himself that he is himself by sticking Post-It notes to his own body all the while being hunted down by the evil villainness, Klora Septix and her deadly spray. The true suspense of the story hinges on whether or not he will remind himself that he cannot die as long as he receives True Love's Kiss from the hot chick.

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Updated On: 8/25/09 at 06:25 PM

Yes! Klora Septix, formerly known as Daisy Chane, the seductive world-renowned film actress, turned evil when her theory that the American...I MEAN SECRET! "Secret" government actually demolished two...completely fictional...identical iconic towers using passenger planes filled with innocent bystanders and clumsily covered it up as some sort of flimsy terrorist plot. Her brilliant and insightful intellect were no match for this secret government, so she was forced to wear a costume and cover her eyes, making her unrecognizable and practically immortal, whilst exacting her revenge on...well, anyone who disagrees with her. Will she be The Square Root of Negative One's mortal enemy, or can they unite against a common enemy for the greater good? You will have to see Inception yourself to get the final answer!

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Joseph Gordon Levitt enters people's dreams? Been there, done him..I mean THAT.

Updated On: 8/25/09 at 01:12 PM