Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#0Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 8:43am
From The New York Times, 8/26/2004
"..."It seems like people can say a lot worse things to someone online than when they're actually talking to them," said Amanda, 14, of Birmingham, Mich., who transferred to the school last year. The girls never said another word to her in person, she said.
The episode reflects one of many ways that the technology lubricating the social lives of teenagers is amplifying standard adolescent cruelty. No longer confined to school grounds or daytime hours, "cyberbullies" are pursuing their quarries into their own bedrooms. Tools like e-mail messages and Web logs enable the harassment to be both less obvious to adults and more publicly humiliating, as gossip, put-downs and embarrassing pictures are circulated among a wide audience of peers with a few clicks..."
Internet Gives Teenage Bullies Weapons To Wound From Afar
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#1re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 8:51amHonestly, if people get all upset because of what is said about them on a website, I have no sympathy. Grow a thicker skin and move on.
SamIAm
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#2re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 11:33am
Popculture...this may be true of the everyday person but for kids who are very impressionable or for people in the public eye who have more garbage spewed about them every day than you can imagine...it gets tiresome. Even if YOU don't read what people write about you, other people believe it and it can be hurtful.
The fact is that the internet lends anonymity to communication and people don't have to feel like they are talking directly to someone or that they are accountable for expanding the truth or for telling downright lies.
The number of times I've been told that person A met person B after hating their persona on a message board or in a chat room and discovered that in person they were much nicer. Wouldn't it be nice if we all talked to each other as if we were talking face to face and didn't have to add to the bad vibes swirling around the universe?
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#3re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 11:36amSamIAm, I could tell you some horrendous bullying that I suffered at school, physical and verbal, as I am sure any number of gay boys on this board can. Frankly, I would have preferred it to have been confined to websites and emails.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#4re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 11:58am
I think José is trying to tell us something! I think he's trying to tell us that as a delicate little flower, he feels vulnerable when people on a message board don't use their real names and I think maybe he sometimes feels picked on and that if people really knew him they would love him.
I reiterate, if I thought I could stand to be in José's presence for a nanosecond, I would speak to him as directly and as negatively as I do on this board. Not a word would change.
{Go ahead fellas, delete this one too.}
iflitifloat
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/03
#5re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 12:34pm
Well, whatever the intent in posting, I still find it an interesting topic...and this might be a little tangential, but only a little:
A couple of years ago the ex-boyfriend of a local high school girl (they’d “been in love” and had gone together for a while) posted intimate pictures of the girl performing a sex act on him. You can be sure that every kid in town knew the link and saw the pictures. People she didn’t know felt very comfortable posting trash about her. That kind of damage can’t be undone.
Which brings up an associated issue...trust. That girl did nothing more than trust someone she thought cared about her. And in vindictive anger, he was able to decimate her by words and images posted in a publicly accessible forum.
The anonymous nature of posting on a forum such as BWW fascinates me, too. As we become familiar with each other...or with who we think each other to be....relationships sometimes form and personal information is exchanged. When you think of it...what a leap of faith it is when you make a connection and determine that someone can be trusted to not turn your words against you.
Internet culture has changed so many things we thought we knew about interpersonal communication...
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#6re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 12:39pmWell, you could publish those Polaroids you have of me, Iflit, but they would just end up getting deleted.
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#7re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 12:39pmI would take my high school ex posting a pic of me giving him a blow job on a website and having people talk trash to me for a little while over what I went through for years on end at school.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#8re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 1:07pm
It's harder for girls, of course. I read "Reviving Ophelia" just to get a sense of what kind of pressure young women are under today and the author stated that at the time of publication even if you had graduated high school a mere ten years before you couldn't imagine how much exponentially harder it got for young girls in the intervening years.
Of course, back to the original post on this thread which I have come to see as a veiled cry for help, every advance in every type of technology has permitted people to be cruel to each other in new ways. Like the scene in Mean Girls wherein one mean girl has a friend listening on silently on a three way call as she gets their victim to say horrible things about her. When three way calling was new (I was in 8th grade) somebody pulled that stunt on me. Each new technology gives everybody a chance to grow a thicker skin.
I think José really needs a group hug. I'll excuse myself from the group as you all administer it.
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#9re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 1:16pmCount me out too.
iflitifloat
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/03
#10re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 2:13pm
PCB... I would be the last person to diminish the "awfulness" that you both describe and allude to having experienced. But I don't think it's a case of because X is worse than Y, don't worry about Y (if anyone followed that...). In the same way, I don't think the "it's only a message board" (or website...or whatever) argument holds up.
My point is that the internet can be used to cause pain. Whether it's worse, or not as bad, as pain inflicted in the 3D world is irrelevant. It is still all relative to the individual person's reality; one has to factor in someone's vulnerability. Someone who has a strong sense of self may be able to let harsh words or deeds roll off their back, while a more fragile individual may be deeply hurt by the same events.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#11re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 2:17pmOh my god, you're right! Poor, poor, José. Somebody get him a stronger sense of self, post-haste!
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#12re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 2:20pmIflit, you have a very valid point, but I will find it incredibly hard to find sympathy for someone who is driven to extremes of emotion by a barrage of nasty emails, nonetheless. Sorry.
iflitifloat
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/03
#13re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 2:57pm
I'm staying true to my bleeding heart roots...
That being said, I doubt that Jose loses sleep over stuff that flies around on this board, but my guess is, that there are people who are much less vocal, who do... And that's all I'm saying.
Besides...there are a couple of different discussions going on here. I'm talking in generalities, not about anyone in particular.
My point remains that pain is relative. And I will argue that to my dying breath... well, that might be overstating my commitment, but anyway... I see a difference between the intensity of pain someone experiences, and how badly someone is judged to be allowed to feel in response to something that happens to them.
For instance, is someone's grief more valid if they lost their significant other in a horrific event such as the WTC on 9/11? Or can the experience of loss that someone feels be just as great even though their loved one died of natural causes? From the outside looking in, much more sympathy is given to the person in the first example. It's as if we have a tendency to define the depth of their grief as being more valid.
Anyway. I'm veering far away from the original discussion, but hopefully, I'm being at least marginally coherent.
SamIAm
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#14re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 2:58pm
Popculture: I can see having a sliding scale of abuse with email and the web being at least more distant but that doesn't excuse it.
The fact is that if we set a tone of zero tolerance with this kind of stuff instead of saying it's acceptable in this case but not in that case. Rudeness and meanspiritedness should never be tolerated. If it is (in whatever form) how can we ever hope to get out of the position of having one group or person be considered fodder for abuse and attack. Verbal or physical...abuse is abuse and it has become much more acceptable these days because of the distance the internet allows one to feel from one's victim.
There have been studies done on this that prove out the trend. The bottom line is that while it may sound naive, if you don't set the bar high you can't expect people to achieve excellence in anything personal respect and behavior.
Sam, climbing down off soap box now. Thank you for your attention :)
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#16re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:18pm
Two things:
1. How someone feels is their right and privilege to do so. Whether or not anyone else feels it's justified or not is irrelevant. Also whether or not it was intended or not is irrelevant.
2. This message board is not going anywhere, Anthony.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#17re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:24pmI admire the brave face you're putting on there, Craig. It's pretty clear that once Anthony's "I'm A Bellicose Queen" Dot Net goes live it's Bye Bye Broadwayworld.
EddieVarley
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/4/04
#18re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:27pm
Anthony the mere fact that you POST - a lot - on the message board (after your big goodbye) clearly is a contradiction of how little you "care"...listen I can't sit by and have you trash the site and the people on it, I am not sure why you left, but either leave or embrace us and come back for REAL, but lurking and then slamming those of us who still enjoy the message boards is wrong. Where is it going away to by the way?, the logic is confounding me...as I remember a time when you cared a great deal about the Board and your feelings and emotions toward it were honest and valid.
And Renee Fleming ROCKS! HAHA!
Updated On: 8/26/04 at 03:27 PM
#19re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:43pmWhy can't kids just fight in the schoolyard like in the good old days? A fat lip does wonders to keep a kid's mouth shut.
robbiej
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/20/03
#20re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:44pm
This thread reminds me of one of my favorite sayings:
Get off the cross, winter's comin' and people need the fire wood!
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
popcultureboy
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/23/03
#22re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 3:55pm
I use the Priscilla variation of that one robbiej:
get dow on off your crucifix, someone needs the wood.
Love it.
EddieVarley
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/4/04
#23re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 4:01pm
Oh Anthony you know as well as I do, six to seven posts a day is a must at the very least.
And I thought many of your points in the above post were quite spot on, it's just by ending with "the Board is closing down" negates much of the thoughtful prose as it has no basis in reality...but then again I did have to "ghost write" and "edit" you in the past, HAHA!
Did I mention Renee' Fleming rocks? hah!
Updated On: 8/26/04 at 04:01 PM
Matt_G
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/1/04
#24re: Internet Gives Weapons To Bullies
Posted: 8/26/04 at 4:01pm
"Who the hell did all the painting in here?"
"Someone with no arms or right foot by the look of it"
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