Is It Tough Gettin Older? I can't remember!

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 11/1/04 at 9:55am

> Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel
> noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you
know
>
> you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a
> suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
>
> Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know
> where to find my hearing aid."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the
> paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers
> delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly,
"You
> know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the
widow,
> "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but
I
> thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover
> rather than the big **** he always was."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were
> standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up
and
> washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find
> her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that
he
> would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and
> finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to
inform
> you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up
to
>
> the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl
worth
> $50,000 . please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and
> re-bait the trap."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At
> the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when
> they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a
faint
> moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She
> lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held,
> and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
> As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch
> that wall!"
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench
> sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said,
"I
> have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and
> then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly
ground
> coffee."
> I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade
> soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for
half
> the afternoon.
>
> I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a
> gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me
> until 2:00 a.m." I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She
>
> said, "I can't remember where I live!"
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they
> had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities
> had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
>
> One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now
> don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but
I
> just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't
> remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her.
> For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally
she
> said, "How soon do you need to know?"
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> THE SENILITY PRAYER
>
> Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
> fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the
difference.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10.
> oh hell, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they
> are. Then something is supposed to happen . . . . . I think.
>

[mominator]

Posted: 11/1/04 at 10:03am

Is this what I have to look forward to?

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 11/1/04 at 10:09am

perhaps...

[Mamie]

Posted: 11/1/04 at 12:00pm

It's not at all tough getting older. In fact, it happens automatically. What's tough is living with it.