Is this sentence a run-on???

[JayKid]

Is this sentence a run-on???#0

Posted: 11/6/05 at 8:59pm

Ok I have a thing about the student board... no one is ever on it, sooo, I will post here. So complain all you want, I don't really care.

Here is the sentence (I am pretty sure it isn't a run on)

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying, “Damn” and from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending Bop songs, to the slower paced, relaxed Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

To shorten the extra stuff...

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the improvisations and from the Bop songs, to the Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

That is the basic sentence, then I obviously added the rest...

curious if it is a run on or not and if there is anyway to fix it.

And along these lines, if you want, criticize my first two paragraphs of this paper (I'm reviewing a CD, next paragraphs will be an analyization and review of each song).

You are thrown in every and all directions possible after listening to “Sonny Side Up”—left amazed and in jaw dropping awe while this amazing trio is at work. Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet, Sonny Stitt and Sonny Rollins both on tenor sax, while accompanied by Ray Bryant (piano), Tommy Bryant (bass), Charlie Persip (drums). After the beautiful, yet fairly dissonant first chord that kicks off the relaxed first track, “On the Sunny Side of the Street”, you know you are in for a good time. No, a great time. Even with only four tracks, it is more than enough to fall in love with this incredible album. The outstanding chemistry apparent between each of these amazing artists draws you in and leaves you yearning for more.
You can’t help it; you just want to keep listening. The album has a balance of both styles prevalent in the 50’s and whether the track is cool and laid-back or hot and fiery; each is able to pull you in. The album was recorded at Nola Recording Studio in New York City on December 19, 1957, a week after another recording was made, “Duets” (Tower Records). Similar to “Sonny Side Up”, “Duets” also exhibits the remarkable chemistry between these three great Jazz musicians. However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying, “Damn” and from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending Bop songs, to the slower paced, relaxed Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another. From start to finish “Sonny Side Up” leaves you listening hard and loving it. You just can’t put the music down, even once it is finished.

So yea, any help appreciated thanks. And if you don't wanna read the long thing, don't have to, but at least help with the sentence thing please.

[BSoBW2]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#1

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:02pm

It is awkward.

[ashley0139]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#2

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:05pm

It is a run-on.

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying, “Damn” and from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending Bop songs, to the slower paced, relaxed Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

There needs to be a comma after "Damn" because "'Sonny Side Up' reigns over 'Duets' with it's over the top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying, 'damn'" is one independent clause, and "from the fast paced..." is another independent clause. If you use "and" you must use a comma. You have to use a comma with a coordinating conjunction.


EDIT: I just read it again, and the sentence doesn't make sense. Saying "and" before "from the..." doesn't make any sense. Take out "and" you got yourself a sentence.

"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

Updated On: 11/6/05 at 09:05 PM

[BSoBW2]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#3

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:06pm

P.S. In a formal essay, never start a sentence with 'however'

[BluCat500]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#4

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:12pm

"and from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending Bop songs, to the slower paced, relaxed Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another."

The second clause seems incomplete, I'm not sure it makes sense...and from the fast paced songs to the cool songs what?

Perhaps split it into two sentences ending the first one at damn...and maybe the second could begin...This diverse collection of songs spans genres from the fast paced, seemingly seemingly never-ending Bop songs to the slower paced, relaxed Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.~Office Space

[Plum]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#5

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:13pm

The grammar's way off. Here's your sentence, with emphases of my own:

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the improvisations and from the Bop songs , to the Cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

First of all, I'm pretty sure it's "Sunny Side Up."

The possessive is "its", not "it's", which is a contraction of "it is."

"over the top" should be "over-the-top". Then I would insert the word "with."

Instead of "and" I would say "of everything"

Remove "the", lower-case "bop", remove "songs"

Remove the comma

Remove, "the", lower-case "cool" (what do you mean by cool songs?)

"another" should be "the other."

So your final sentence would be:

However, “Sunny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with its over-the-top improvisations of everything from bop to cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to the other.

There's grammar bugs all over; look over your paper again and try diagramming the sentences if you can.
Updated On: 11/6/05 at 09:13 PM

[ashley0139]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#6

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:15pm

^ Much better than my trying to help.

"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

[BSoBW2]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#7

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:16pm

"There's grammar bugs"

Oh no you didn't!




"However, “Sunny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with its over-the-top improvisations of everything from bop to cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to the other. "

Would there be a comma after songs (before that)....well, I guess not. I am such a comma whore though...I used to get scolded. But I stashed them commas all over.

[ashley0139]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#8

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:20pm

No.

"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

[Plum]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#9

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:21pm

Say the sentence out loud. Do you have a natural pause there? If not, there's no comma.
Updated On: 11/6/05 at 09:21 PM

[BSoBW2]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#10

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:26pm

Heh, I do...

But no, as I was writing I realized there was no need for a comma...but I couldn't stop, writing, so I kept on, kept on, ya know,

[JayKid]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#11

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:40pm

thank you everybody, I realize dthe sentence was wrong, because that is why I posted it just couldn't figure it out...

ok, yes I do need a comma after "Damn" and originally wanted two sentences, however didn't want to split it up because having to start the from bop to cool as it's own sentence IMO messed with the way I wanted it to flow. I wanted all the msuics characteristics in one sentence, one thought.

Now, thanks for the advice... now here is one thing, I'm keeping in my descriptions, and here is the sentence WITH descriptions the way someone rewrote it.

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over-the-top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying “Damn” of everything from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending bop to the slower paced, relaxed cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

I don't like the of everything... it seems very out of place. In general, it's the connection between this sentences that is hard. I originally had tried two sentences, but the second could not hold on its own... unless I changed the beginning, which I didn't want to do because of what I said above.

I think the best idea as of yet is just erasing the "and"...

other than that, over-the-top should be like that and no idea why I had its it's.

I could also just scratch the from thing and do this...

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with its over-the-top, awe inspiring improvisations that leave you saying “Damn” and its fast paced, seemingly never-ending bop, and slower paced, relaxed cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

Is that better...??

Updated On: 11/6/05 at 09:40 PM

[JayKid]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#12

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:46pm

Here is two sentences...

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with its over-the-top improvisations that leave you saying “Damn”. In addition to its awe inspiring improvisation, it also contains fast paced, seemingly never-ending bop, and slower paced, relaxed cool songs that flow seamlessly from one to another.

[BSoBW2]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#13

Posted: 11/6/05 at 9:49pm

Here ARE two sentences.

[Elphaba]

re: Is this sentence a run-on???#14

Posted: 11/6/05 at 10:00pm

you have commas where you should not, and then do not have a comma where you should.... Try this:

However, “Sonny Side Up” reigns over “Duets” with it’s over the top awe-inspiring improvisations that leave you saying “Damn”, from the fast paced, seemingly never-ending Bop songs, to the slower paced relaxed Cool songs, that flow seamlessly from one to another.

It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956