MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 7:10am

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
" Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different
countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lollypop, but at the bar, you know, they have frozen glasses."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those neat little snacks & hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise.

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?"
She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors
d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in the blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.


"But my sweet honey, at the bar, you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?
Listen up, dickhead! Drink your f*#%ing beer in your damn frozen mug and eat your f*#%ing snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, a**hole?"

And they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 9:05am

I couldn't imagine saying such dirty words...

tsk tsk. Bad wife...

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 9:07am

Addy - you did NOT just say tsk tsk...did you? I LOVE seeing that in print!

[NYadgal]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 9:07am

LOL...well then, I'll be sure to write it more often!

[mominator]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 9:43am

addy uses bad words??? I am so disillusioned.

[beacon1]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 10:02am

Redhot...heard you were at the soiree on Friday. Did you call everyone "possum"?

I'm so mad I missed the party...

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 11/15/04 at 12:26pm

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I Can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm going to give you the money, and I am also going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, golf, and sex."