MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:07am

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit. He got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that as a deaf bookkeeper he would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollar is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says:
"Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzio's backyard in Brooklyn!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says to go f*ck your mother and your sister, you're a p*ssy and you don't have the balls to pull the
trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers ?!!

[wildcat]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:21am

Brilliant, BB. Can't wait to tell that one at work!

[Marquise]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 5:56am

Great one Boobs!

[gettinhep]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 6:41am

I fell off the chair with that one, Boobs.

And, I come from a family of lawyers...

[ashley0139]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 7:32am

Love that one boobs!

[broadwayalto01]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:28am

Mornin Boobs !! Thanks !!

[One Song Glory]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:31am

That's funny. Thanks for the laugh.

[broadway betty]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:40am

I love it! Thanks, boobs!

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:44am

My pleasure gang !!!

[OnTheAisle]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:47am

LOL - and I had to deal with lawyers this morning! Put the whole thing into perspective!!

[OnTheAisle]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 9:50am

Double post - sorry all!

Updated On: 7/11/05 at 09:50 AM

[OnTheAisle]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 1:19pm

k - technically, it's afternoon, but this is still appropriate:

Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor!

"Aim towards the enemy." --Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." --U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." --USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." --Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." --U.S. Air Force manual

"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo." --Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways." --U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." --Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." --David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." --Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." --Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once." --Anon

"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do." --Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." --Infantry Journal

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." --USAF Ammo Troop

[Britt0913]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 1:52pm

Haha, Boobs! I can't wait to tell that one to my friends!

And, OnTheAisle, I especially liked that last one: "If you see a bomb technician running, try and keep up with him"

HAHA! Good morning/afternoon all!!!!

[gavrochegirl]

Posted: 7/11/05 at 2:00pm

LOL! Very very funny...thanks for the laugh!