MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 5:11am

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the
very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But,
thank God, I still have my driver's license.
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.

"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week"
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
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These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
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Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
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THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the
people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10
others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

[mominator]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 7:21am

BB, these are great!! I think the "No peer preasure" is my favorite.

[Johnnytoc]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 7:27am

Mine as well mom. Thanks boobs.

[shira467]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 9:57am

Loved it, Boobs.

[Magdalene]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 10:31am

Bless you for starting my week out on the right note!

[DRSisLove]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 10:34am

That was great! Definatley a good chuckle.

Thanks Boobs

[Mamie]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 11:11am

These just ain't funny - you young whipper-snapper you!

..... although this one is quite good:

"Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out."

[ashley0139]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 11:45am

Very clever!

[beacon1]

Posted: 10/23/06 at 9:59pm

"Hardly worth going home, isn't it..."

LOL LOL LOL

Bbooobs! I just spit my apple cider all over my monitor!

Hugs to you!