MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
#1MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 5:21am
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the
garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex!!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't
get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a
woman could just hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his
trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night
in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold did n't show up at their usual
meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make
sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What
does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#2re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 7:23am...Thanks, I now have an extremely disturbing image burned into my retinas.
iHeartMyGeek: But Pittsburgh also has many good qualities too!
ahmelie: Are you implying that twinkies and lesbians are bad? BITCH!
ahmelie: Are you implying that twinkies and lesbians are bad? BITCH!
Broadway Star Joined: 12/31/69
#3re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 7:39amEwwwwwwwwwwwww
"You know, with the right volume, Patti LuPone can make a car bounce, too...."
-Wonderwaiter
#4re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 9:02am
Ah, hell... I work in a Personal Care Home.
*shudder*
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to
NathanLaneStalker
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/11/06
#5re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 9:07amTHAT'S funny! haha.
"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey
#6re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 9:51am*shudder*
Measure your life in love, RENTheads, and keep it always in your heart.
Avatar: Me with Al Larson, Jonathan Larson's father.
Avatar: Me with Al Larson, Jonathan Larson's father.
ashley0139
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/3/05
#7re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 11:14amOh my...
"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife
The Grovers Corners Yenta
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/3/04
#8re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 12:22pmHaving worked with the elderly in a facility, I can tell you that they are hornier than a bunch of teenagers. I admire them!
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
#9re: MONDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 1/8/07 at 1:34pmWhy is "Waiting For God" flashing through my mind....
"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
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