My School Essay

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 5:09pm

I wrote this as a memoir for English (6 1/2 pages double spaced). Can you tell me if it's good? I'm in 8th grade.
Snoopy Rehearsal

[Liam]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 5:11pm

WoW i liked it! : )

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 5:42pm

When I met Hunter he was very nice...but VERY SHY.


One note-You wrote:"She has been in many Broadway shows and won the 2002 Tony Award for best actress in a musical"
Sutton has not been in MANY Broadway shows...only two or three.

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 5:45pm

Well....
Thoroughly Modern Millie
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Les Mis
Grease
Haha, 4! Yeah sorry! In my school, many Broadway shows means more than 2, but thanks for pointing that out.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 5:51pm

I was off by one...SORRY!

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 6:13pm

I just read what I wrote and I realized it sounded obnoxious. I meant it jokingly.

[broadway geek]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 6:49pm

I thought it was interesting, though of course I too am a theater dork so that may be why. Your family acted the same way my family would in that situation.

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 6:56pm

Thanks? I put the question mark in because I want to know if the essay itself is good, not the story.

[Racetrack]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 7:32pm

The essay is good. Don't worry. I liked it a lot. If you want writing critique then it flowed well, had a nice pace, and (for whatever it's worth) voice was good. I mean I can completely understand the situation and see all of the people in the story, so a great use of imagery as well.

[idinaroxmysox7]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 8:15pm

whats the essay topic? ur in 8th grade? what school?

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/2/05 at 8:16pm

8th grade, no topic, not saying the school.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 1/3/05 at 11:25pm

My Fair Lady- You already know how I feel about your essay, but I will say it again: I love it! I thought it was very well written, and you made me feel sad for you and also really excited. I was all jittery after I read it, which is how I get when I am excited. Of course, I am a HUGE Sutton fan, so that probably helped.
Have you already turned it in?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 12:54pm

Very well constructed, it perfectly captures the ways in which family members exist simply to torture us. I feel like maybe you should have given Hunter a break, maybe something along the lines of "perhaps he wondered who these strangers were watching their rehearsal?" Also, I'd love to know how much of a "generous donation" you had to make!

[ckeaton]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:08pm

I wonder if Sutton thought that she was being mocked over the "crooked eyebrow" comment. I think they're kinda cute. I can't believe your mom tried to make a scene during notes. That is an important time in the rehearsal process.

Interesting essay though. Good work.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:18pm

Beginning the essay with a conjunction captured my attention and I like the narrative voice you maintained throughout the piece.

Well done.

(from a former teacher...)

[ckeaton]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:24pm

Teaching what, may I ask?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:25pm

Elementary school.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:27pm

Elementary what?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:28pm

oh, this is just heading down the wrong path... I'll see you on the Adult thread for more questions

[ckeaton]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:30pm

I was only looking for "My dear Watson". Jeez.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:30pm

*slaps forehead* Doh!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:34pm

Addy, the schoolmarm. Somehow it works!

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/4/05 at 1:36pm

Somms, you should see my class pictures