Need a comedic monologue from 80s teen movie!

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:18pm

I posted this on the student board, but didn't have much luck.

I'm planning to audition for the Chicago production of "Awesome '80s Prom".
They asked that we prepare comedic monologues from 80s teen movies...

I can think of funny male 80s monologues.
I can think of dramatic female 80s monologues.
I can think of funny female 90s monologues...

But I can't think of a female comedic 80s one.

They asked that it be 1-2 minutes long. I mentioned that I was having difficulty coming up with something and asked if I could use an early 90s piece, but they said no.

Please help!

~ff~

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:26pm

Try something from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Or The Breakfast Club. That movie is all dialogue. I'm sure you could find something there.

[blueroses]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:26pm

Well, you can do the Joyce Hyser part in Just One of The Guys. After you reveal you're a guy, you get to flash your boobs.

[Love4Cheno]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:28pm

There's got to be plenty from "Heathers."

[blueroses]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:28pm

Cruel. The Breakfast Club isn't really a comedy, though, is it? And are there many female monologues in Ferris?

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:36pm

Too bad it has to be a "teen" film - Beaches and Steel Magnolias come to mind. Maybe Sixteen Candles, or Don't tell Mom the Babysitters dead? ( I think that was 80's) I think the character of Chariss has a couple decent rants in Uncle Buck.

[Craww]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:45pm

Don't tell Mom the Babysitters dead? ( I think that was 80's)

Early 90s. All the best stuff I can think of is early 90s with an 80s sensibility. Also, too bad they're asking for a monologue, or I'd totally suggest that epic rap from Teen Witch.

Heathers looks like the best suggestion I've seen so far. Either that, or just scour the John Hughes and Brat Pack oeuvre. Just go to IMDB, find Molly Ringwald, and follow links 6 degrees from there.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:55pm

A dramedy, The Breakfast Club is.

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:59pm

Isn't Heathers a 90s movie? My best suggestion would be somethign from Sixteen Candles, even though none of Molly Ringwold's monologues are exactly comedic.

You could go lame and see if there's something in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Or maybe "Back to the Future"--the mom does have some pretty funny lines in there.

[Craww]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 3:59pm

Heathers was '89.

A dramedy, The Breakfast Club is.

...okay, Yoda. I agree and all, but yeesh.

Updated On: 3/14/07 at 03:59 PM

[Guido Contini]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:02pm

c'mon the best one ever is ferris bueller in the bathtub.

"I do have a test today, that wasn't bull****. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European, so why do I care if they're socialists? The could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

sheer genius.

[dramaqueen2]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:03pm

what about something from that movie.. "big girls don't cry, they get even," i think that's 80s?

[Craww]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:09pm

Early 90s.

Could there be something in Hairspray, maybe? Been too long since I've seen it.

[blueroses]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:09pm

Guido, she's specifically looking for a female monologue.

[JohnPopa]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:10pm

Check 'Sixteen Candles,' Molly Ringwald is the voice of that movie, I'm pretty sure she's got something a minute or two long.

[Guido Contini]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:13pm

ah NUTZ! I really should learn to read the whole post before I get too excited.

[blueroses]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:13pm

"I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up!"

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:21pm

"No more yankee my wankee - Donger need food".

One of my favorite movies. lol.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 4:46pm

HEATHERS


VERONICA (V.O.)
Dear Diary, I want to kill and you
have to believe.....damn pen!

VERONICA frenziedly scribbles, trying to get her pen to
write. She throws the pen across the room and pulls out
another.

VERONICA (V.O.)
You have to believe it's for more
than selfish reasons. More than a
spoke in my menstrual cycle. You
have to believe me.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 5:23pm

Or better yet, go rent VALLEY GIRL. There has to be tons of female comedic dialog in there.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 3/14/07 at 5:56pm

Also try Pretty in Pink, Adventures in Babysitting, The Legend of Billy Jean (not a comedy, really, but it could certainly be construed as one), Some Kind of Wonderful, Can't buy Me Love, Just One of the Guys, Teen Witch and Satisfaction.

And if you're still really desperate, there's always Supergirl.

[Anakela]

Posted: 3/15/07 at 1:05am

I haven't seen these in forever, but is there anything useable in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or Weird Science?

Does it have to be speaking, could you sing the babysitter blues from Adventures in Babysitting? :)

[blueroses]

Posted: 3/15/07 at 11:22am

Mister Matt, I love The Legend of Billie Jean!

"Fair is fair!"

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 3/15/07 at 1:07pm

We will be invincible!

Legend of Billie Jean was one of my favorites! I wish it was on DVD.

Here's something for Flowery...

Billie Jean: As for you Mr. Pyatt, you are so sleazy! You think that you can get away with anything because what are we, just a bunch of kids! Well not THIS time. Six hundred dollars for the motoscooter your son trashed! That's what you owe and we're not turning ourselves in until you pay! Fair is fair! We didn't start this! We didn't mean for it to happen but we're not giving up until you pay! FAIR IS FAIR!

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 3/15/07 at 11:28pm

Thanks guys!

I love that a couple of you suggested Teen Witch. I actually own it (and love it), and I just watched it a couple days ago to see if I could extract anything... but no.

Sadly, most 80s teen movies only have monologues with messages like "kids are people, too" or "my life sucks soooooo much". Not really funny stuff.

Can't think of any comedic female monologues in Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, or The Breakfast Club. I considered going to the audition with a boom box and just dancing crazy to "Try a Little Tenderness" (This is a very good record. It's Otis. I love Otis.). I figured they'd either love that or hate that. But since this is through a casting agent, I think I'd better stick to something a little less unconventional.

I found the script to Ferris Buehller's Day Off online, hoping that Jeannie has something in there, but there really aren't monologues.

This weekend, I will try renting Heathers, Just One of the Guys, Footloose, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, etc. (And Spider, I've never heard of Valley Girl, but I might try that too)

Wish me luck, and please let me know if you come up with anything else!

~ff~