Over The Edge

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 7/29/07 at 7:36pm

Feel free to critique:

"THERE ARE NO METAPHORS HERE by Jeremy Moran

There are no metaphors here. I am literally standing on a ledge. The mid-point between life and death. Am I sure I want to do this? Am I sure it's worth the lifetime I'm denying myself? Let me think this through.

Or not.

I plunge head first off the 78 story. The wind whips at my face, unaware that each time could be the last.

25 seconds...

I think about the wife and daughter I'm leaving behind. They're going to be devastated. Oh well. Maybe they can write a book about their feelings.

20 seconds...

I think about the house that will never bear the pain of my feet again. The antique rugs, the linoleum tiles, the lightbulb I never got a chance to change. I wonder how they're going to take this jump. My gut feeling is that they'll be pretty torn up about it. Good thing they're pretty passive.

15 seconds...

I think about the curly fries I ate 10 minutes ago, and how they'll never fully digest. In some eyes, I'm a monster, a freak of nature, an asshole of operatic proportions, singing my aria of selfishness. To the degree that I am, I apologize. To the degree that I am not, I hear the small intestine has nice weather.

10 seconds...

A chill comes over me. I never *did* catch the end of Revenge of the Nerds 4. What will become of Booger? Alas, I was not meant to know.

5 seconds...

I wonder what Toni Chiles from kindergarten is up to now. She never did give me back that blue crayon she borrowed. She can rot in hell.

SH*T. I really wish I had changed that lightbulb..."
Updated On: 7/29/07 at 07:36 PM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/30/07 at 3:47am

Darn, I thought this was going to be a thread about the collectible card game of surreal conspiracies set in the mythical island of Al Armaja.

[blueroses]

Posted: 7/30/07 at 11:01am

I was hoping you discovered the Matt Dillon and VInce Spano movie.

Oh well.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 7/30/07 at 11:04am

I thought the same thing, blueroses.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/30/07 at 12:26pm

I hope people who feel this way can get help.

Oh look! Help! 1-800-273-TALK (8255)