Poem

[Unknown User]

Posted: 1/26/05 at 10:17am

I've never written a poem before, but one verse of it goes:

Up and down Broadway,
Avenues, bolevards,
Glitter and Neon stay.
Even glass shards,
Are beautiful on the black pavement of
NYC.

But I was thinking about saying "Are beautiful as they lay, on the black pavement of NYC." what do you think? Which line is better?

[centerstage]

Posted: 1/26/05 at 11:14am

I like "Are beautiful as they lay, on the balck pavement of NYC" but the C in NYC doesnt follow the rhyme scheme (ugh i hate school) i mean, you have -vards, then shards, then C...it doesnt work...well it does, its up to you, but it sounds kinda awkward. You could stray from the rhyme scheme for emphasis, which defiantly works...and im rambling nearly incoherrent things so i shall stop...

[Unknown User]

Posted: 1/26/05 at 2:57pm

centerstage, thanks so much! I wrote the line without "lay" in it, and then, as u were saying, it fit the rhyme scheme better. And yes, the last one that DOESN'T rhyme, is there for emphasis. Thanks!