"These damn state-by-state decisions are destroying any chance we have of true change. See Loving v. Virginia if you want to see how this will eventually play out. State marriage is nothing but a red-herring and confuses the true issue. It solves absolutely nothing because marriage is federal."
Then, I don't think you understand how the interracial marriage battle actually played out. States legalized interracial marriage over a period of 80 years before Loving Vs Virginia finally forced the handful of remaining states to join in, granting state and federal rights in all 50 states.
This state by state approach for gay marriage is NOT the only aspect of it. I never once have thought that this wouldn't end up in the US Supreme Court. There's no way certain states are going to vote for gay marriage in the next century. There are states today who would vote against interracial marriage. It will hit the Court first. It could be this case--it could be the one building in Mass. Who knows?
But state by state, we build the consensus--we show people that the sky will not fall. And, the inequalities of some states having marriages that other states do not recognize begins to make the issue crumble for those against. Mountains of logistical issue build up.
