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Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

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#1

Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/24/05 at 8:46pm

G-d had just given Moses the 10 Commandments on the top of Mount Sinai. Moses then began the arduous task of bring the tablets back down the side of the mountain. Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks, and looked up to the top of the mountain and asked G-d........" So let me get this straight. The Arabs will get all the oil AND WE HAVE TO CUT OFF THE TIPS OF OUR WHAT?????"
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
#2

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/24/05 at 8:58pm

Good one GCY!
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien
#6

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:44am

Where's the O...

and why is God being typed up like a curse word?
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
#7

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:45am

Well, at least in the Jewish culture, when writing the name of G-d, you use a dash -- because otherwise, every single piece of paper with the name of G-d should be buried in a Geniza (a special burial place).

I guess it just extends to typing as well. In all my papers, I've always written G-d.
Deet: Shira, I Love You!
#8

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:48am

Hmmm...why do religions always have strange rules?
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
#9

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:52am

Because the name of G-d is considered sacred.

And a joke:

Moshe was taking to his psychiatrist. "I had a weird dream recently," he says. "I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face. I found this so worrying that I immediately awoke and couldn't get back to sleep. I just stayed there thinking about it until 7am. I got up, made myself a slice of toast and some coffee and came straight here. Can you please help me explain the meaning of my dream?"
The psychiatrist kept silent for some time, then said, "One slice of toast and coffee? Do you call that a breakfast?"
Deet: Shira, I Love You!

Updated On: 8/26/05 at 01:52 AM

#10

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 2:06am

People are messed up. Why is okay to make fun of the Jewish religion in a joke but you can't put the O in GOD? Organized religion is Satan's work.
PEACE.
#11

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 2:11am

We're making fun of the jewish culture, and stories...

Nevermind. No need to justify myself to someone who can't seem to comprehend that some people think religion is important.
Deet: Shira, I Love You!
#12

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 2:13am

No, but if it is so sacred to you that you can't put an O in God should you really be making fun of things like circumcision?
PEACE.
#14

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 2:34am

"Why is okay to make fun of the Jewish religion in a joke but you can't put the O in GOD? Organized religion is Satan's work."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

wait...I don't get it.
#15

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 3:13am

Can I jump in? It's not "making fun of circumcision" really - it's being humorous instead of always being so serious.
It's ok to tell Jewish themed jokes and still be religious/ respectful - one doesn't contradict the other. If anything, Jewish people are well known for their humor and their ability to laugh about themselves. It has never had anything to do with respecting G-d by not typing out the full name.

And btw, that was one aggressive response. Why are people "messed up" if they believe in something? No one's asking you to do it, too.

"Years from now, when you talk about this - And you will - Be kind. "
#16

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 3:24am

This isn't really a joke but I just got an email from my university chapel. The new male chaplain is Reverand Kelly Sprinkle. I doubt I'll be able to sit through a church service without thinking about how it sounds like a porn star name.
Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

Updated On: 8/26/05 at 03:24 AM

#17

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 3:33am

God said to Mitzi, you can have anything you wish for. She said I want to have an endless supply of wealth and I want to live forever. God said fine! The first thing Mitzi did was book an appointment with a plastic surgeon and she had everything done. The nose, the eyes, the chin, the breasts, the thighs and the buttocks. Weeks after she is fully recovered she crosses a busy street and is killed by a car.

In heaven she eagerly awaits to speak with God. She asks God, What happenned? I thought we had a deal? Why didn't you pull me out of the way?

God said "GIRLLLLLLL, I didn't even recognize you!"


Updated On: 8/26/05 at 03:33 AM

#18

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 4:44am

How many Jewish American Princesses (J.A.P.S.) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five.

Four to bitch to daddy, and one to hold the Diet Coke.
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
#24

re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!

Posted: 8/26/05 at 12:32pm

I want one that says WWBD?(What Would Barbra Do?). They actually make them. re: Religious Humor.......So Laugh A Little!
"Years from now, when you talk about this - And you will - Be kind. "

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