SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
#0SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 9:03pm
30 Lines to make you smile today.
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. (SO TRUE)
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27.. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don't know what is going on.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#1re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 9:11pmi needed that, thanks a lot Boobs!
"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed
#2re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 9:27pmthats one of my all times favorite thank you!
Allie
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/04
#3re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 9:48pm
Haha, these kind of remind me of my dad's favourite saying:
Help stamp-out, abolish, and get rid of redundancy!
#4re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 9:56pmHere's my favorite saying, "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!" (For those who don't understand it, think gravity.
~*~Fairytales do come true~*~
Keala Settle: Aloha, Sistah!
It's all good...<3<3<3
#5re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 10:34pmThanks BB. Needed the giggle tonight (doing the taxes!!)
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Conan O'Brien
#7re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 10:38pmI also needed a smile on my face so thanks!
"At the opening night party, they had clowns on stilts, jugglers, a chocolate fountain, popcorn, hot dogs. [My son] looked at me like I had been holding back. Like, 'This is what you do?' I had to tell him, 'No, no, darling. Opening nights don't usually look like this.' It's usually a dark bar with a bottle of vodka." ?Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Jan Maxwell
plus i proudly share the title of the shortest member over the age of 10 with wickedrentq!
#8re: SATURDAY EVENING CHUCKLE
Posted: 2/5/05 at 10:50pmLove it!
I hung out with Cheyenne Jackson in his dressing room waayyyyyy before he tickled D2. "unleash the girly"
Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch.
Puppies are babies in fur coats.
Tinfoil...The Terrorizing Terminator
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