SATURDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 8:45am

Foot In Mouth Disease

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went
back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

*****
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
*****
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
*****
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even
the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in
tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
*****
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" while 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
*****
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after
it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as they were laughing so hard!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 8:57am

I love these - especially the last one, of course

[NYadgal]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 9:00am

"It doesn't hurt"

"This place smells like..."

"I can't go to bed when I'm worshipping hot a$$"

...um, no, Boobs - I have NO IDEA what you mean. Take words back?

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 9:06am

Addy - and what a fascinating phenomenon to have those 'bloopers' paraded before you on a daily basis! That's what friends are for, I suppose

[NYadgal]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 9:07am

yeah, DG - my friends are so good to me! LOL...

[OneBlazeOfGlory]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 11:42am

Thanks boobs... great as always

[Plum]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 11:51am

We tease because we love, Addy. :)

[NYadgal]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 1:33pm

...and I deserve it all, Plum!

[TheaterGeek91]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 2:38pm

These are hilarious. I shared them with my friend, and he Copy/Pasted them into an email.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 3:27pm

My friend Daesha loves you Boobs. You're awesome.

Now where are my eight inches?

[Liam]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 3:36pm

OMG

[laactress]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 6:05pm

That was REALLY good Boobsie! Thanks. :)

[paradox_error]

Posted: 12/11/04 at 10:12pm

Too bad it was a Sunday Afternoon chuckle for me...
but it was a very enjoyable chuckle!