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#1

THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.



After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"


The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.



Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.



Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, fires, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their
backs.



The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out:

"SH*T... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"



"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
#2

re: THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

The Lie Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What
are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he
never told a lie." Incredible," said the man.
"And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham
Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told
only two lies in his entire life."
Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
St. Peter responded, "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as
a ceiling fan."

"I don't really get the ending,all i can go with is when after several months,Judith saw Pat sang,and later she kissed him on the toilet,after that the story back to where Pat went down from the stage after he'd sung,and he went to the italian lady.I just don't get it,what Judith exatcly meant when he kissed Pat that she had seen,and did Pat end up together with The Italian Lady?Please help me,thank u very much!" Quote from someone on IMDB in reference to a movie he/she didn't understand. Such grammar!
#3

re: THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

LOL to both! Mornin' re: THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
"You know, with the right volume, Patti LuPone can make a car bounce, too...." -Wonderwaiter
#4

re: THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

Ahh...two of my favorite sort of jokes...blonde bashing and Dubya bashing.
Sponsor me as I walk the Philadelphia AIDS Walk - Sunday, October 16, 2011. Many of our friends, family and neighbors are in desperate need of health care services and other life-saving programs, but with cutbacks in government dollars , these programs are often under-funded. Now, more than ever, your donations are needed to support organizations providing HIV/AIDS awareness, prevention education, counseling and testing and care services for people living with HIV/AIDS. http://www.aidswalkphilly.org/users/index.php/profile/detail/186643
#5

re: THURSDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

Funny.
"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

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