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#1

TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

1 half-gallon of 2% milk
1 carton of eggs
1 quart of orange juice
1 head of romaine lettuce
2 lb. can of coffee
1 lb. package of bacon

She was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out.
A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied: "Cause you're ugly."

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
#2

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

Oh Boobs - that was priceless! Good morning to you.
I sing for myself. I sing when I want, whenever I want to, just for me. I sing for my own pleasure. Do you understand that?
#3

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

BB< what the heck are we going to do with you?
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien
#4

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

I love them all, boobs, but this is my all time favorite.
#5

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

THAT is terrible.

You should be punished.

(but i'm laughing...)
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
#6

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

Okay, Boobs, you made me laugh out loud in my cube...that may be the best yet!!
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
#7

re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

I just happen to be one of those people who has to snoop and look into other peoples carts while I am shopping. One day, I was in Waldbaum's shopping and ran into my doctor while I was on the checkout line. We were gabbing for awhile and I decided to look into his cart. He had serveral cake mixes, cans of frosting, whole milk, chips and dips. I had a few Lean Cuisines, a large bottle of Diet Coke and sugar free low carb candy. He is thin as a rail and I am heavy. Go figure.!
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

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