TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
#0TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:59am
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:
1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
1 My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
And people have the nerve to talk about spelling on this board. 
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#1re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 7:12amThis one is a gem BB, LOL!
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Conan O'Brien
broadwayguy2
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/03
imcuteloveme
Broadway Star Joined: 9/8/04
#3re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 9:29amLMAO!
"It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers."
- Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
#4re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 9:33amthat is the best! Thanks boobs!
"Did you know that if you take the first two vowels in Olive and rearrange them it spells I-Love?"-Spelling Bee
"It's night like this that hotel bars were specifically made." Light In The Piazza
laactress
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/7/04
#6re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 11:46amI can always count on Boobs to make my morning! That was hysterical!
It started with a sipmle idea, collecting one paper clip for every life lost, the feelings that connect us...are greater than those that divide us!
Updated On: 11/23/04 at 11:46 AM
#7re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 2:42pm
laactress, dear, was 'cound' on purpose? 
No matter how many times I read this I can't stop laughing. Thanks Boobs!
"Someone please tell me- when the hell did gravity become the enemy? How has an essential force of nature, something that makes it possible for life to even exist on this planet, come to deserve the scorn and hatred of every teenage girl with no head voice?"- Broadway Matt
The Grovers Corners Yenta
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/3/04
#8re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:03pmI used to work in hospitals and the names people would give their illness never seased to amaze me. There was a woman who came in to the ER claiming she had Smilin Mighty Jesus { spinal meningitis} One who said she had fireballs in the Eucharist { fibroids in the uterus}, a new mom who claimed her newborns's vocal chord fell off { umbilical chord}, Rectal pile ups { polyps} and now for my own favorite from the Ob_Gyn clinic.........Doctor: I need to take a health history. How many times have you been pregnat? The woman replied twice. Doctor asks if they were full term. Woman says yes. Doctor asks if her periods are regular. She says yes. Doctor asks about her flow. The woman replies....{ in southern accent} " Oh Doctor, my flow is fine........I gots me linoleum." This is a true story.
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
beacon1
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/31/04
#9re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:03pmGreat Chuckle, Bboobs
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
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