TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:18am

A junior pastor was worried about the church deciding upon his salary for the upcoming fiscal year so he went to seek the advice of the senior pastors. When he told them the dilemma, the first pastor said, "Oh, I don't deal with that anymore. I take care of myself." The younger minister asked him how he did so. The man said, "After the service, I draw a circle on the floor of the fellowship hall. Then I take the basket of offerings and throw it in the air. What lands in the circle is my salary. What lands outside of it goes to the church's services and to the mission field for the glorification of God."

The second pastor replied, "I, too, use a similar method. I go into the fellowship hall, draw a circle and throw the money into the air. What lands outside the circle is my salary, and the money inside goes to the service of God."

The third, and most senior pastor then answered, "I also do something similar. After the service, I go into the fellowship hall and throw the money from the basket high into the air. What God wants, He keeps. Whatever falls is my salary!"

[ALittleNorthofKansas]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:26am

I know a minister or two that will get a kick out of this.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:34am

That was fun.

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:44am

redhot just sent this to me...


The train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired", said the Marine.

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:47am

and I posted it on another thread also - so now its all over the place...lol

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 9:48am

i try to add them to the Chuckle thread...

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 10:16am

ok - here's another:
The Toast.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's
only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

[laactress]

Posted: 12/7/04 at 11:50am

Boobs: I have heard a similar one and I always laugh!